Love Story? Oh Bullocks
by CaptainMeghanSparrow
Summary: Take a scheme thought up by three of our favourite marauders, add a troubled Remus Lupin and some completely crazy, love struck girls. What do we get? Chaos. And what's with Lucius Malfoy dancing? And for the love of Merlin, WILL WE EVER GET TO PIGFARTS?
1. Let The Scheming Begin!

Love Story? …Oh Bullocks.

Summery: Take a scheme thought up by three of our favourite marauders, add a troubled Remus Lupin and some completely crazy, love struck girls. What do we get? Chaos. And why on earth is Lucius Malfoy dancing everywhere? Where is Peter always going? And will we ever be able to get to Pigfarts!? We may never know! This story is mostly Remus&OC BUT you will find a little tiny bit of James&Lily, plus there's just A LOT of jokes and randomness all around! And it will also progress the lives of the Marauders and their friends through their school life and possibly after as well. Or maybe we'll lave that to a sequel ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, obviously... or i'd be a blonde, british woman who is a famous writer...oh right, you can't see me. Well just take my word for it, I'm not **sigh** Anyway Nor do I own a Very Potter Musical- you will find several references if you've ever had the pleasure of watching this fantastic musical. If you haven't... GO WATCH IT! Then you may come back.

**A/N – I'M BACK! With a new story to replace my old one. I'm deleting "There she goes" because well it just…sucks. Sooooooo anywhoo ON WITH THE SHOW! Read & Review and DO NOT be a wiener-jacket while reviewing please. I do not tolerate intentionally rude and mean comments. Thank you!**

Chapter 1

"Remus, you my friend need a good snog."

"Gee I really like you as a friend Sirius but… I'm straight."

"HAHAHA! Your just sooooo funny Moony! …but seriously how come you've never dated anyone?"

"You know perfectly well why Padfoot." Remus replied calmly as he continued to scribble away at his history of magic essay.

Sirius sighed "Remus just because once a month you transform into a- MMPH-!" Remus slapped a hand over Sirius's mouth, glaring at him.

"Say that a bit louder would ya?" he whispered taking his hand away.

Sirius grinned sheepishly "Er- sorry. But back to the point! You can totally have a girlfriend if you want! Hey, PRONGSIEE! YO PRONGS!"

James snapped out of his trance. One arm had been propped up on a pillow, his head in his hands staring intently at the object of his affection, one Miss Lily Evans.

"Whassgoinon?" he slurred

"Moony thinks he can't have a girlfriend because of his…his you-know-what." He whispered.

James rolled his eyes "Remus you've got to lighten up. Just because you have a furry-little-problem doesn't mean no girls will like you. If they can't manage to see past it then they're not worth it."

Remus stared at him, his mouth hung open "I think that's the smartest thing you ever said."

James smiled triumphantly and puffed out his chest "I have my moments. So does this mean you'll ask out a girl?"

"No."

"UGH! Remus your impossible!"

"Thank you." He smirked

"Oh come on Remmy, just one little date?"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"What if-?"

"No."

"How about-"

"NO."

James glared at him "Fine." He said sticking out his tongue.

Remus rolled his eyes "I'm going to bed. Night you lot." He said smacking Peter on the head as he left. Peter jolted awake from his spot on the couch.

"Alright Padfoot, Wormtail, we need to find a way to get Remus to go out with a girl. He's missing out on being a regular teenage bloke because he's so caught up with his erm- problem."

"And how do we do that?" Peter yawned

"Yeah, he's totally set on not ever having a relationship with anyone…ever." Sirius added skeptically.

"Leave _that _to me." James grinned hugely and began cackling maniacally, throwing his hands into the air like a mad-man.

Sirius and Peter leaned away from him. "Er- yes alright, can you just stop laughing like that?"


	2. Lookin Good, Remus

Love Story? …Oh Bullocks.

**Disclaimer: **

**Me: I still don't own Harry Potter…or Pigfarts**

**RumbleRoar : That's because I own Pigfarts! RUMBLEROAR!**

**Me: hehehe can I have a ride on your back?**

**RumbleRoar: EXCUSE ME? YOU WANT A RIDE FROM THE ALL POWERFUL TALKING LION THAT IS ME, RUMBLEROAR? …okay.**

**Me: To Pigfarts!**

Chapter 2

"Is he still asleep?"

"Yeah I think so."

"Should we wake him up first?"

"Are you mad Wormtail? He'd avada us faster than you can say 'you-no-poo!'"

"Wassgoinon?" Remus asked as he groggily sat up in his four poster bed. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes only to see his three best friends grinning hugely at him as they leaned over his bed.

Remus backed away "W-what are you doing?"

"Just understand this is for your own good Remus."

"What are you-?" He was cut off as all three lunged at him. Sirius wrestled his wand from his grasp while James and Peter held him down. "Stupify!" was shouted and Remus knew no more.

"Alright let's make this quick, I don't think he'll be out for long." Sirius said and they got to work.

****One hour later****

"MAKE IT LONGER!"

"WHY? IT'S FINE THE WAY IT IS!"

"NO IT'S NOT!"

"I'LL HEX YOU IF YOU SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME, YOU PONCE!"

"YOU'RE THE PONCE!"

"Guys! He's coming to! Just fix it!" Wormtail said frantically

"Oh alright." James said and magicked Remus' hair longer.

"There! See I told you it looked better!" Sirius said triumphantly.

"Oh stuff it, you prat." James said then leaned over Remus "Moony? You okay mate?"

"Ugh I feel like someone's been dancing on my chest. What hit me?"

"heh heh…" Sirius chuckled uncomfortably "Uh… PETER DID IT!"

"What!? No I didn't!" Peter yelled "It was Sirius!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Ya huh!"

"NUH UH!"

"YA HUH!"

"SHUT UP! Geez, you great prats! It doesn't matter _who _did it, the question is, why the fuck did you hex me!?"

"Er… mirror?" James offered him a hand held mirror.

Remus looked at it, perplexed "Why would I need a…" he trailed off "What did you do!?" he snatched the mirror out of James hands and cautiously held it up to his face.

"AHHHHH!"

James, Sirius and Peter jumped

Remus stared at himself his eyes widened in shock "Y-you made me look all stupid!".

His hair was still a light brown in colour but it was now longer and shaggy looking, hanging over his eyes a bit. His scars were paler and more difficult to see, but still there all the same. His eyes seemed to be brightened, and looked much larger and even a darker shade of amber. His body was still skinny but seemed to be a bit broader than usual. He felt stronger, he wondered if they'd given him some kind of potion…

"Uh, no no no. We made you look oodles better." Sirius disagreed.

"Well why would you do that?" Remus questioned

"Ummm…"

"Well…"

"Ya see…"

"Ugh never mind, I have to get ready for class." He said and picked up his uniform only to have it snatched out of his hands by Sirius.

Remus raised an eyebrow "Do you have a death wish?"

Sirius smirked and handed Remus a different set of clothes. "Padfoot, this is _your_ uniform."

"Correction! That is my _extra _uniform."

"And why exactly do I have it?"

"Yours is getting shabby and too small for you, just consider it a gift."

Remus studied his friends for a moment "What are you planning?"

"P-planning? Planning!? Planning he says! Isn't that a hilarious notion James?" Sirius barked obviously fake laughter.

"HAHA! Yes just comical! Isn't that right Peter?"

"Um…pass."

James glared at the pudgy boy. Remus just looked at his friends in what could only be described as concern, shock, and discomfort. "Alright scratch that, a don't want to know." He said and backed out of the room and into the loo.

The three boys let out a breath. "That was a close one-"

"Hey Sirius-!" Remus said coming back into the dormitory. The three boys immediately straightened up and plastered huge smiles on their faces.

Remus regretted his decision right away "Er…never mind." He said as he took in their expressions and left the room once more.

Sirius, James and Peter let out their breath once more "You think he suspects something?"

"Of course he does Wormtail! He's not an idiot, but I don't think he realized that he actually looks REALLY good now, so I'm sure we-"

"We going to breakfast or not?" Remus called as he exited the bathroom looking handsome in his new uniform.

"Perfect!" James shouted and Remus raised his eyebrows "Er- perfect _weather_ for quidditch…"

"Riiiight…"

"WAIT!" Sirius yelled and rushed to fix Remus's tie before he left. "There! Much better." He nodded

Remus rolled his eyes "As I said before Padfoot, I'm straight!" he yelled over his shoulder as he left the 6th year boys dormitory.

"HAHA your just so witty Remus!"

* * *

**AAAAAAAAAAANNND Scene… :D**


	3. RUN FOR IT!

Love Story? …Oh Bullocks.

Disclaimer: You know the drill, I own nothing, EXCEPT for my OC which will be coming up soon.

Chapter 3

"Why is everyone staring at me?" Remus inquired as they walked to the great hall.

"Er- dunno, maybe you've uh… Padfoot!" James gestured to Sirius to take over.

Sirius grimaced at James "Right uh well you sort of look a little um- oh look we're at the great hall!" he shouted with glee.

As the four boys entered the hall all conversations stopped. Girls were gawking and boys were staring in envy. James, Sirius and Peter exchanged proud looks.

As they seated themselves at the Gryffindor table several girls not only from Gryffindor but from other houses as well seated themselves around Remus.

Remus was focused on his pancakes until he felt eyes burning into him and looked up. Then he almost jumped out of his skin. "Er- can I help you?"

"You certainly can." a pretty brunette girl said flirtatiously "I was just wondering your name?"

Remus raised his eyebrows questioningly "Well it's Remus Lupin of course…" he said uncertainly. Shouldn't most people know him by now? He hung out with James and Sirius after all…

Several people took an intake of breath. The outspoken brunette girl looked quite shocked "Good lord, are you really?" she licked her lips "You're looking quite good Remus."

"Oh um, thanks…?"

"We should go out sometime." She stated

"What?" Remus said looking taken aback by her sudden boldness, especially towards him.

"No, no Remus you should go out with me!" said another girl on his left.

"Huh?"

"No! Remus pick me!" yelled a blonde girl standing behind him.

"what the-?"

"But Remus, I'd be so much better for you!" shouted another.

Then, all hell broke loose. Girls were screaming and yelling at each other in haste to get Remus to agree to go out with them. Some had even restored to violence, proven as one girl grabbed a hunk of some Hufflepuff's hair and yanked it causing her to yell out.

Remus on the other hand had completely frozen. But inside his mind was working double-time. If we could hear his thoughts it's probably be something like this…

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! This is utter madness. This better be a dream. That's it! It's a dream! Either that or I've died and gone to hell! I'm probably going to be killed in all this. These girls are going to murder me just to get me to date them. Oh fuck. Fuckityfuckfuckfuckerson! What the hell is wrong with the freakin world today! I'll have to leave Hogwarts and move to another country, change my name and get plastic surgery to alter my appearance. I'll leave the name Remus Lupin behind and shall be know hence forth as Calvin Buttsworthy and-

"REMUS!"

"huh?" he blinked and looked up into the face of James.

"You okay mate? We've been trying to get your attention for ages."

"Oh sorry, it's just all these girls." He gestured to the wild group yelling at each other. "I just- I don't understand any of this. I've gotta get out of here, see you guys in class." he said and rushed out of the great hall.

"THERE HE GOES! GET HIM!"

Remus turned just in time to see a wild mass of girls running for him. He almost fell over as he scrambled to get out of the great hall and bolted down the corridor.

He hid behind a statue of Godric Gryffindor just as the girls ran down the left corridor. He let out the breath he'd been holding in relief.

"You should be careful." Said a voice suddenly. Remus almost had a heart attack right there and then. He spun around to see a Ravenclaw girl walk by clutching a book. "You were almost mowed down."

"Yeah I know. I really don't understand what's going on."

Her laugh rung like bells as it bounced around the hallways. "I'm sure you will soon. You better get going though; I'm sure they'll double back and come down this corridor soon."

"Right, yeah thanks."

"No problem." She said and casually strode away.

He frowned as he tried to think of her name but came up with nothing. He shrugged it off and headed to potions class.


	4. Confusion served with a side of destress

Love Story? …Oh Bullocks

Disclaimer: "Guess what! I just found the rights to Harry Potter!"

"OH MY GOD! Are you serious!"

"No! ...And how dare you bring up Sirius! You know he's all dead and stuff… Pff! snarky bastard…

LOL But really, I don't own anything! Enjoy! :D

Chapter 4

The next few days proved to be just as bad, if not worse for Remus. His privacy was gone, every corner he turned, every place he went there seemed to be fan girls lolling about waiting for him. He was swarmed, chased, mauled and even tackled to the ground once.

Although today seemed to be not too bad, He and his friends were seated at the Gryffindor table enjoying a hearty breakfast before class.

"You guys do the potions homework?" Remus asked

That got their attention. They all looked up, their faces in a panic. "Der oos otions formserk!" said Sirius through a mouthful of eggs.

Remus simply rolled his eyes "Yes, you know sometimes I think you never pay attention, Padfoot."

"Did you say something?"

"Point proven."

"Come on mates," James said shoveling the rest of his breakfast down "Time for potions."

"Joy! Slughorn can give us that disappointed scowl he's so famous for." Sirius said demonstrating a hideous frown for them.

Peter snickered "You just look constipated, Padfoot." that comment got him a whack over the head.

"So who do we have potions with this morning?" Remus asked

James pulled out his schedule "Umm… Ravenclaw."

"Great! A bunch of know-it-alls." Sirius rolled his eyes "I'd almost rather have class with the Slytherins."

The rest of the marauders raised their eyebrows.

"I said _almost!_" he stuck his tongue out childishly at them and they continued their trek to potions.

"Take your seats everyone! And please hand in your essays from last Tuesday."

Only a handful of Gryffindors came forward with their assignments, while the Ravenclaws practically tripped over one another to hand them in.

The Marauder's sat in their usual group in the back. They usually worked together in potions. And by 'worked together' I mean Remus did most of the work, considering he was one of the best at potions, just below Snape and Lily of course.

"Today we will working on the truth serum, otherwise known as- oh, yes miss Evans?"

"Veritaserum sir?"

"Correct, correct! Ten points to Gryffindor!" Slughorn beamed with pride. "Now light your cauldrons and get started ladies and gentlemen!" he ordered.

"Right, let's get to work guys." Remus said

James and Sirius exchanged a look "Riiiight, you get on that Remus my good pal. We'll be over here, we have a little prank for Snivillus to plan." James said getting a maniacal look in his eye. Sirius barked laughter and they huddled around a piece of paper, whispering their plans.

Remus sighed "Hey Wormtail, can you grab me some crushed bicorn horn?" When no answer came he looked around to see Peter trying to get a look at what James and Sirius were doing.

"Ugh! Do I have to do _everything _myself!" he said in frustration. He stomped over to the storage cupboard and began rummaging through its contents.

He found what he was looking for and headed back to his table, but just before he got there he smashed right into another body. His ingredients fell to the floor with a clatter. He groaned "Oh, perfect." Dropping to his knees he began collecting each item.

"Oh. My. Merlin! I'm so sorry!" said a voice above him. The girl who had apologized also bent down and began hastily picking up more of his potion ingredients.

He sighed "It's okay, easily fixed."

"I know, it just looked like you were having a pretty bad day already."

Remus finally looked up to see the girl. "Yeah well I…" his eyebrows furrowed suddenly "You look very familiar, have we met before?"

She smiled "I suppose we must have if I look familiar Remus." She said handing him back his crushed snake fangs. "See ya round." She half-waved at him and sashayed off to her own table.

Remus' scratched his head in confusion "Huh…" he carried his ingredients back to his cauldron and began adding them to the boiling water.

"Something wrong Remus? You looked troubled." Peter asked

"Oh you're finally around for once aren't you?"

Peter shrugged "I always up for planning a prank."

"I mean other than that, you're always AWOL Wormtail." Remus explained

Peter's face paled, he looked nervous all of a sudden before bursting into obviously fake laughter "AHAHAHA! That's a good one! AWOL he says…"

Remus raised an eyebrow "On second thought, stay far away… you kinda scare me sometimes there buddy."

Peter crossed his arms in a huff.

* * *

"You ever notice anything strange about Peter?"

"Huh?" Sirius asked through a mouthful of mashed potatoes

"He's gone all the time now! Its dinner time and he's not here stuffing his face like you lot always do and he's—"

"Hem hem!"

The boys jumped at the sudden fake cough. A blonde haired girl from Hufflepuff stood behind Remus, smiled widely "Hi there Remus." She fluttered her eyes at him.

"Heh heh er- hey, umm…?"

"Noelle." She said, still smiling, seeming completely un-offended.

"Noelle, right. So uh… what can I do for you?"

"Well Hogsmead weekend is coming up…" she began twirling a lock of her hair. "And I was like wondering if you'd go with me?"

"Gee, I have a lot of homework, and umm I think I'm coming down with a cold or possibly an incurable disease so I can't really-"

"He'd love to!" James and Sirius chimed in.

"What!" he said in disbelief

"Great!" she grinned "Entrance hall, ten o'clock!" she said before sauntering off.

Remus turned back to his friends, fire in his eyes. They smiled angelically. Remus glared "Your dead to me."

"Oh loosen up, she was well fit, you should be happy!" Sirius grinned

He continued to glower at them over his steak and kidney pie. "Run." He stated simply.

Sirius laughed his barking laugh.

"Uh Sirius?" James nudged him. Sirius was too swept up in his laughing he didn't even realize James had called on him.

"Sirius?"

"HAHAHAHA!"

"Sirius!"

"AHAHAHAAA!"

"SIRIUS!"

"HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA! -Oh, what? What, James?"

"Um I don't think he was kidding."

They looked over at Remus's obvious rage filled face.

"Soooo… run then?" Sirius suggested

"That's probably best." James agreed

And with that they leapt out of their seats and fled the hall, screaming bloody murder all the way back to the Gryffindor common room.

Remus smiled in satisfaction. "Well, that was fun."

**END OF CHAPPYY! Ok first of all my lovelies, I want to say I am sooo sooo sorry I haven't been updating recently! I hope this chapter isn't too much of a disappointment or anything, I tried my best and I just really wanted to get another chapter out soon so you guys didn't eat me alive or anything haha. Well anywhooo… I hope you liked it and I promise that this time, there won't be such a long wait! I'll make the unbreakable vow if you want!**

**See ya next time Potterheads! –CaptainMeghanSparrow ;)**


	5. Too many girls!

Love Story? …Oh Bullocks

Disclaimer: 'I command you relinquish the rights to Harry Potter, you filthy mudblood!'

'What rights?'

'Don't play dumb! I've come to get the rights the Harry Potter series and I'm not leaving without them!'

'I don't even read Harry Potter!'

'…AVADA KEDAVRA!'

**Damn, I still don't own Harry Potter! Oh well, at least you can enjoy this chapter!**

Chapter 5

The cool breeze danced happily through the air, blowing around the tall, handsome trees and through the dark night. The moon was full, illuminating the earth bellow eerily. The forest was still except for the occasional rustle of the leaves against the branches. The night was quiet. A wolf howled in the distance, an owl hooted from its perch on an old fir tree. To the entire world it would seem calm. But little did they all know that there were forces at work in this world that would soon tear everything to shreds, no leaf would remain unturned, no home would be left unburned, no man, woman or child would be left alive. The darkness of this world was spreading, how fast? Nobody knew, nobody except-

"_-CUT!"_

"_What's wrong sir?"_

"_You incompetent fool! That's the wrong bloody story! The story we're telling isn't nearly as serious and bitter! It's full of completely stupid teenage problems! DUH!"_

"_Oh…right…oops."_

"_WELL CHANGE IT!"_

"_Yes sir! Right away sir!"_

_**BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP!** 'We apologize for any inconvenience this has caused you; please now enjoy the right story.'_

"GET OFF ME PADFOOT! I DON'T WANT TO GOOOOOOOOO!"

Sirius simply laughed and jumped up and down on Remus's bed once more.

"Get off, you great sod!" he yelled and yanked his covers so hard it caused Sirius to tumble off the bed and onto the ground.

Sirius's head popped back up from the floor. "So Moony, I take it you're excited about your date today?" he asked waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh yes, simply ecstatic." He replied in monotone, his voice practically dripping with sarcasm.

"Oh don't be such a Debby downer! You might even have fun!"

Remus glowered at him from his covers that were nearly pulled over his head. He's refused to get out of bed that morning. He had to meet Noelle in an hour and he was less than happy to say the least.

James had begun raiding his closet to look for a decent outfit for him to wear, while Sirius was in charge of getting him 'pepped up' as they put it.

"I will most certainly not 'have fun'. You gits got me into this mess and the only reason I'm going through with this date at all is because I don't want to hurt her feelings."

Sirius rolled his eyes as he waved Remus' comment off "Yeah, yeah, whatever, so you think you'll snog her?"

"What!? NO! I most certainly will _not_!"

"Why not?"

"Well because- …well because…-! UGH! JUST NO!"

"Okay, okay, geesh, I was just asking, Mr. bossypants."

Remus sent him a dirty look as he finally pulled himself out of bed. Just then James chimed in. "FOUND IT!" he yelled startling the other two boys.

Remus raised an eyebrow "Found what?"

"An outfit that's soooooo perfect that you have to wear!" he said excitedly.

"Yeahhh you definitely just sounded gay as a french pastry there for a minute."

"Yeah whatever!" he brushed him off "Here! Put this on right now!"

Remus sighed "I guess I have no choice."

"You most certainly do not!" he threw the clothes in Remus' general direction and he caught them automatically.

He pulled off his pajamas and got into the outfit James was so excited about. He pulled on a black turtleneck, showing off his new found physique, worn out blue jeans, a brown leather jacket and black shoes.

"I don't know why you're so excited about this James, it's not that amazing."

"Trust me Remus, it's the perfect combination of sensitive guy and badass." He said standing an arm's length away from Remus, admiring his work.

"One last touch!" he said and ruffled Remus' hair into the perfect amount of messiness. Remus grimaced, "Can I just get this over with? She'll be waiting for me by now."

"Not so fast mate," Sirius said grabbing his shoulder as he attempted to leave.

"You don't want to seem too eager to get there, that might give her the idea that you're not hard to get, which as of now you are."

"Are what?

"Hard to get."

"Get what?"

Sirius smacked the palm of his hand to his face. "Let me put this in words you'll understand. "You are not easily swayed by the charms of the female species."

"Oh, well why didn't you just say so!"

James and Sirius exchanged a look and sighed in unison. "Just go! You'll be ten minutes late if you go now."

"Alright, alright, I'm outta here!"

"Make sure not to treat her too nicely!" Sirius yelled

"But not too bad either!" James added

"Yeah whatever!" Remus called over his shoulder and slammed the door.

"He's going to crash and burn." James stated.

"Yup."

"He's going to have a terrible day."

"Yup."

"Think we should hide?"

"Yup."

They looked at each other, then around the room, and at the same time dove under their beds.

* * *

Remus stomped down the stairs and into the entrance hall.

"REMUS!" A voice screeched

"Please let that be a banshee, please let that be a banshee, please let-"

"Remus!" Came the voice again, which to Remus' dismay HAD come from Noelle. "I called, you didn't you hear me?"

"Er-sorry I was just thinking of something else-"

"Well no matter, let's go!" she squealed and grabbed Remus by the arm dragging him outside.

"Urrghh..." Remus groaned but Noelle appeared not to have heard.

She pulled him into a carriage and they were off. By the time they arrived in Hogsmead Remus thought his ears might be bleeding, man that girl could talk.

"Come on Remy! I want to go to Madame Puddifoot's!"

"Yeah, alright." Remus agreed grudgingly

She yanked him toward the dingy old tea shop. Remus had never been in there before but he'd heard stories from Sirius and James. It was just as horrible as they described. Pink and red hearts were hung everywhere, the walls were pink, the chairs were pink, even the windows were tinted pink!

The air smelled sweet, TOO sweet, a sickely sweet odor filled his lungs and it took everything he had not to go into a coughing fit.

Noelle picked out a small table in the corner for them and made sure to sit very close to Remus. This of course made him immensely uncomfortable. Everytime he tried to scoot away, she tightened her hold on his arm.

"What can I get for you?" Their server asked

"A restraining order." Remus mumbled under his breath.

"Pardon me?" the waiter asked

"Uh I said I'll have a butterbeer please."

"Okay, and for the lady?"

"I'll have an herbal tea, with an orange flavor shot, topped with whipped cream and cinnamon sprinkles."

Remus was pretty sure his mouth was hanging open, that sounded bloody disgusting. But the waiter didn't find it unusual at all, so Remus was sure they must have very uncommon mixtures around here.

"Sooo Remus," Noelle said as their waiter left "What happened to you during the summer?"

"What? Oh nothing unusual, same old, same old. Got to see my family, stayed a couple if weeks at James house, played quidditch, read a few good books. Pretty normal I guess." he answered sheepishly

Noelle smiled "Your just such a cutie Remus," she sighed "How did you get to be so cute, I guess that's what I was asking."

"Well I guess I just changed, grew up a lot I suppose." He said coming up with it off the top of his head.

"Of course, you're a man now, that's so hot..." she whispered seductively in his ear.

"Uhh... Uhhh... Uhh..." Remus stammered

She giggled. But when he felt a hand squeeze his thigh, he lost it. He sprang out of his seat, nearly knocking over his chair.

"Uhhh- I gotta go! I just remembered there's something really important I have to do!" he lied quickly, slapping some sickles on the table to pay for their drinks, then he legged it outta there.

The door to the little tea shop slammed open and Remus took a deep breath of clear air.

"Well, well Weeeeeelllllllllllll!" said a musical voice "What do we have herrrrreee?" they asked practically singing their words.

Remus didn't need to turn around to know who it was. "What do you want Malfoy? I'm kind of having a bad day right now so if you could just sh-"

"Now, nowwww," he said stretching out his words "Play nicely, Lupin."

Remus rolled his eyes and sighed. "What do you want Lucius?"

"How DAAAAAAAAAARE you!" (A/N any Starkid fans recognize this?) He said jumping through the air in a graceful leap, his cronies catching him, and ending in a pirouette. "You do not refer to me by my first name! You are farrrrrrrrrrrr too below me!" he said in a superior tone.

Remus simply rolled his eyes "Oh sooooooooooooo sorry," he mocked, but Malfoy didn't seem to realize "My deepest of apologies."

"That's better, besides you should respect me; I know something rather interesting about youuuuuu."

"Yeah, what's that?" Remus asked uninterested.

"Oh I shan't tell you just yet, but don't fret, I shan't tell a soul, you may be useful later in life." he cackled and began spinning around in circles, his long blonde hair whipping him in the face every time.

"Urgh! Crabbe, Goyle! Hold my hair back will you! Make yourself useful!"

With that, he pranced down the road, "Remember to respect me Lupiiiiinnnnnn!" he leaped particularly high and ended up falling on his face in a mud puddle.

Remus turned to walk away and heard a faint "AHHHH my beautiful golden locks!" from the distance.

Remus payed it no attention and headed back up to the castle. By the time he arrived it was about 12:00 and time for lunch.

As he entered the great hall he spotted Peter sitting by himself. He made his way over and plopped down next to him.

Peter jumped and then sighed in relief when he realized it was just Remus. "Hi Moony!"

"Hey Wormtail, bit jumpy today aren't you?"

"Er-yeah I guess, just umm... worried you were James or Sirius trying to scare me or something."

Remus looked skeptical but instead asked "Where are those two anyway?"

"Hiding."

"Hiding?"

"From you."

"From me?"

"Will you stop repeating me!"

"Will I stop repeating-? oh sorry." he smiled sheepishly.

"Hey wait a sec, aren't you supposed to be out with that girl right about now?"

"Riiiight, about that... I kinda, might have, sort of, ditched her..."

"Ditched her!?"

"Yes."

"Yes?!"

"Now you're doing it!"

"Now I'm doing-!? Oh. Right, sorry. But Remus, James and Sirius are going to be really mad."

Remus waved him off "Pff, it's not like they're going to freak out."

* * *

"You did WHAT!?" they screamed at him in unison.

"Well she was practically feeling me up!"

"So!? Then you let her!"

"I was supposed to let her?! Are you mad?! No f-ing way you smarmy git!"

"Fine then." James cut in "If you don't like Noelle, we'll just pick someone else for you."

"What? B-b-but-!"

"No 'buts'! You ruined a date we worked hard to put together, so you're going to repay us by letting us set you up!"

Remus fell into an open chair massaging his temples "I don't see this going well."

* * *

"Well I was born in London, and I had no idea I was a witch until McGonagall had to come to my house to tell me, my parents didn't believe her at first of course, but I always knew there was something different about me, like this one time my pet cat got stuck in the gutter and I wished really hard that he's be able to get out and guess what?! He did!"

"Is that so?" Remus sighed glumly his head being propped up by his hand.

"Yeah! Then, this other time my kitty got stuck in a..."

But all Remus hear was "Blah blah blah -something about a cat- blah blah blah- soup- blah blah -want to make out?" -wait what!?

"Uh check please!" he yelled at a waiter

* * *

"So tell me about yourself." Remus asked yet ANOTHER girl James and Sirius set him up with.

"Oh not much to tell yet really, my life is not yet complete." said the girl. She smiled strangely before stating "Your aura is the most beautiful purple I've ever seen, did you know?"

"Er- no, um thanks?"

"I believe one's life is not complete until they find their other half, in other words, true love or a 'soul mate' as some see it. I must first find my prince charming, and then I shall have lived a good life. I could die the next day for all I care as long as I'm loved, so even if I were to pitch myself off the astronomy tower, I could still be happy in heaven because I know my soul mate would follow me there."

"..."

"Don't you also believe in such things?"

"Ummm..."

* * *

"So she was like 'duh' and I was like 'whatever!' then she said 'well at least I got the newest designer robes shown in _Witch Weekly_!' and I was all 'So what!? It's not like you look good in them!' then she was all 'You're like, just jealous!' and I said 'of what? Your lack of boobs!?' Can you like even believe her Remus? ...Remus? …Like, where'd he go?"

* * *

"Sooo what's your favorite class this year?" Remus asked

"..."

"Do you like quidditch?"

"..."

"How about reading?"

"..."

"Do you like ANYTHING?!"

"..."

"Somehow I knew you'd say that." he sighed

* * *

"THAT'S IT! NO MORE DATES! EVER!" Remus yelled to the sky as he left Hogsmead.

A few students gave him strange looks as he passed, he brushed them off and made his way back to the castle, once again feeling just as though someone had punched him in the stomach. No matter how many dates he went on all the girls he met were awful! Why did he even put up with them? He didn't want to date in the first place. It was all because of Sirius and James. He knew they were just trying to help but he couldn't help but feel miserable.

He sighed "Maybe I just was meant to be alone forever."

"I wouldn't go that far." a voice said

He jumped and realized it was the same Ravenclaw girl he kept seeing. He grinned "You've got to stop doing that."

She laughed "Sorry, just trying to keep you on your toes."

"Well it's working."

"So what's wrong with you?

"How do you know something's wrong?"

"Most people who aren't troubled don't usually yell up to the sky for no reason."

"Good point."

"Thank you," she grinned "So what's up?"

"Well my friends keep setting me up with all these crazy girls. _Literally_ _crazy_, I think some of them are actually psychopaths."

She laughed "Really? Darn and I missed it!"

"Hey now! No laughing! It was really scary!" he pouted

"Oh don't even worry about it Remus, I'm sure if you're meant to find someone special then it'll just happen. Maybe you should just tell your friends that, they'd understand."

"Yeah, you're probably right." He sighed, then chuckled "I wish they'd just give it up, I can't believe they thought I'd like any of those girls."

"Well what's your type then?"

"I dunno, smart, funny, not afraid to tell me to shut up if I'm being an ass."

She laughed "Sounds cool, I like her."

"I haven't even found her yet."

"Don't worry I'm sure she's out there somewhere, maybe…closer than you think?"

He raised an eyebrow "What do you mean by that?" he asked in confusion.

Her face turned scarlet red "Uh… nothing! Whoops! I think I hear my mom calling me, okay bye!" she said and spun around sprinted all the way into the castle.

"Wait! You didn't tell me your name!" he called after her. His shoulder slumped "_Again_."

He sighed then scrunched his face up in confusion. "How could her mom be calling her when we're at Hogwarts?"

**END OF CHAPPYYY! What did you think? Was it alright? I worked pretty hard on this one so I hope you enjoyed it. Please R&R! I'd really appreciate it! And don't forget my rule! I do not tolerate intentionally rude comments, so no being a cauldron bum! (hehehe anyone recognize that from Potter Puppet Pals? Love those guys!)**

**Well anyway, that's all I got for you for now, I'll try my very best to have another chapter up soon but it's gonna be pretty hard to write a lot more when the end of the school year's coming up soon and I have exams and shit, so don't expect one up right away but don't worry it won't be a really long time or anything.**

**CaptainMeghanSparrow over and out!**


	6. Fangirls and LOTS of blushing

Love Story… Oh Bullocks

Disclaimer: 'Harry Potter is owned by the wonderfully talented J.K Rowling, not me. At least I own Pigfarts though!'

'Psst! Miss! Miss!'

'WHAT! Can't you see I'm doing a disclaimer here! …what was that? …I don't-? …well why not? …You said I did! …hem hem, I have to make a slight correction, my associate has just informed me that I _do not_ own Pigfarts… pff! …bitch.'

'HEY!'

'Oh you know it's true.'

'…'

**Chapter 6**

"Hey, Remus? …Remus? …REMUS!"

"Aaak! What!"

"You've been staring at nothing for ten minutes straight." James informed him.

"Oh…" Remus said then promptly went back to staring into space.

James grimaced "Why do I even try? Ugh! Remus I really need your advice on this Defense essay!"

"Okay here's your advice," he said "This is a book. You open said book and you find knowledge."

"Meanie." James stuck his tongue out at him, and Remus rolled his eyes. "So what were you thinking about anyway? You seemed pretty deep in thought."

"Oh, nothing just the uh… full moon! Yeah the full moon's coming up next week, better be prepared!"

James narrowed his eyes "You Moony, are a liar liar pants on fire."

Remus waved him off "Whatever you say Jamsie, so did you-"

"Hey Remus!"

Remus turned and almost fell off his chair as he recognized the Ravenclaw girl. "Oh! Uh hi! It's you!"

She giggled "Nice observation."

"So um, I was just… uhh…hi." He managed to splutter out sheepishly

She laughed once more "Hi. So actually I didn't just come over here to say hi to you, I was actually hoping to get your help."

"My help?" he squeaked

"His help?" James asked mischievous glint in his eye "With _what _precisely?"

"Transfiguration. You see I'm having a lot of trouble with the spell we're supposed to be learning. The one for human transfiguration, I'm just not getting it. So…" she said tucking a strand of hair behind her ear nervously "So I was hoping you'd maybe tutor me?"

James frowned "Well that's not nearly as interesting."

"Uh sure, I mean yeah sure I can tutor you… so uh sure." Remus stumbled over his words, then a thought popped into his head "Oh just one thing though."

"Yeah what's that?"

"What's your name?" he laughed "You still haven't told me."

Her face tinged pink "Oh, it's Beatrice, Beatrice Swiftly."

"Nice to finally know." He smiled

"Could we meet tomorrow? After supper?"

"Yeah, sounds good."

"Great! See you later!" she grinned and headed out of the library.

"Well, well, welly well wellllllllllll!" James grinned "What was _that_? You guys seem to be pretty chummy."

"I know her a little bit, we've just ran into each other a few times that's all." Remus brushed it off.

"Suuuuure, cause that's exactly what it looked like to me." James clearly didn't believe him.

"Glad you agree." Remus retorted and began scribbling away at his essay, going through book after book for information.

James huffed "Fine, don't tell me."

"Works for me!"

* * *

"Padfooooooooot! Make Remus tell us whats up with him and that Ravenclawwwww!" James whined that night in the common room.

Sirius spat the butterbeer he was drinking all over Peter, coughing, choking and spluttering for at least five minutes. "WHAT RAVENCLAW?"

"Ewww." Peter complained as he tried to brush the sticky drink off of him.

"Nothing Sirius, I'm just supposed to tutor this Ravenclaw girl."

Sirius raised his eyebrows, a look of disbelief evident on his face "Your tutoring a Ravenclaw?"

"Yes."

"A RAVENCLAW?"

"Yes."

"An honest to god RAVENCL-?"

"YES! Why is that so difficult to believe?"

"Because! Ravenclaws _never _need tutoring, they're the smartypants of the school! I've hardly ever heard of a Ravenclaw that was having trouble in class."

"Well she is."

"Suuuuuure…" Sirius shook his head "Let's go with that."

Remus looked up from his notes "You don't think she really needs help?" he asked curiously.

"Of course she doesn't. She obviously has an ulterior motive!"

Remus rolled his eyes "Oh yes! That's got to be it right?"

But Sirius wasn't paying attention. "Maybe she's using you to get to me!"

"Someone thinks highly of himself."

"Or it could be that she needs your intelligence to plan her world domination!"

"Padfoot-"

"Maybe she wants to have your babies so their super smart like you to create a new race of mega-babies!"

"Ugh Sirius-"

"Well she could just want to get close to you so she can steal from your chocolate stash!"

"Okay! NOW IT'S PERSONAL!" Remus yelled "That's going way to far Padfoot! She's not doing anything wrong! She's just having problems learning a spell and asked for my help!"

Sirius crossed his arms and turned his nose up "Well you didn't have to shout."

Remus sighed "It's just studying Sirius, nothing more."

"Yeah?" James grinned "Then why were you getting all flustered around her?"

Remus turned pink "I-I wasn't!"

Sirius and James turned to each other, identical gins on their faces "Sure, whatever you say Moony."

"Ugh you guys are giving me a headache! I'm gonna take a walk, be back in a while."

With that he got up and sped out of the common room and out the portrait hole.

"Looks like our little Remykins has a crush!"

Remus let out a deep breath as he finally left the Gryffindor common room. "Finally, maybe I can breathe now."

He walked steadily down the hall, going down many staircases, passing numerous statues, seeing students from all different houses. He even passed Lucius Malfoy once.

"Man this place has really gone to the dogs, I tell yeah Goyle, when I have kids I won't be sending them to this here," Lucius made a noise of disgust. "They're be sent to the greatest wizarding school in the Galaxy! Tell me, have you ever heard of Pigfarts...?"

His voice faded as Remus headed further in the opposite direction. He suddenly stopped short in his tracks. Voices were whispering around the corner, clearly they didn't want to be overheard. The logical side of Remus said to turn around and leave. But the Marauder side said to listen in. Finally he couldn't help himself and the Marauder side won over.

He crept closer to the corner and peeked his head around ever so slightly. He could see a group of Gryffindor girls standing in a circle talking to each other.

"Seriously CiCi, we need a better place to meet, this is right out in the open!" complained one of the girls.

A tall brunette girl grimaced, she was clearly the leader and apparently her name was CiCi "Yes I know! I'm looking okay? Let's just get on with the meeting. I hereby call the sixth meeting of the Remus Lupin fan club to order!" she announced.

Remus did a double-take "The sixth meeting of the who-the-what-now?" he whispered frantically to himself.

"So has anyone succeeded in talking to Remus?" CiCi asked

Murmurs of 'no' chorused around the group.

"Well I have!" Said a medium height, blonde girl. "I asked him to borrow an extra quill, and guess what? ...He said he didn't have one! Eeeeekk!" She squealed excitedly and the rest of the group joined in.

Remus stood there in gob smacked 'No way this is normal girl behavior.' he thought

"Okay have you all brought your items that have come into physical contact with Remus?"

Everyone said yes this time and the girls brought forward each of their items.

His was surprised and a little disgusted at what they had found. There was an old sandwich, a used tissue, one of his socks, his history of magic textbook, a broken quill, a scrap of fabric that looked like it was from his traveling cloak, and his- Remus almost gasped a loud- his boxer shorts!

"Good find Annabel!" CiCi congratulated a red headed girl. She grinned smugly and tossed her hair over her shoulder.

"Well they weren't easy to get that's for sure! I had to sneak up to the boy's dormitory during classes, then got detention from McGonagall when she realized I wasn't in class. And oh. my. Merlin you wouldn't believe how messy the sixth year boy's dormitory is!"

"Well either way you clearly won!" CiCi declared. She took a small vile out of her pocket "A promise is a promise. Since you won, you get to put the love potion in his drink."

Remus' jaw hit the floor.

"Eeeeeeeeekkkk! I can't believe Remus Lupin is going to fall in love with me!" The girl named Annabel squealed

That's all Remus could take, he high-tailed it out of there and all the way back to Gryffindor tower.

He burst into the common room, panting and sweating.

"Whoa there Moony, it looks like you just ran a marathon!" James laughed, of course his laughter died down as soon as Remus grasped the front of his shirt and shook it vigorously "THEY'RE GOING TO KILL ME! I'LL NEVER BE THE SAME!" he shook the front of Sirius' shirt next "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!" he yelled in a fit of insanity.

The three remaining sane marauders exchanged worried looks.

"Okay Moony, exactly how much sun have you gotten today?" Sirius asked

"They're going to spike my drink with love potion!"

"Wha-? Who?"

"My fan club!"

"You have a fan club?" Sirius asked curiously "Good idea! I could hand out membership cards for my own fan club!"

Remus froze staring at him in shock, then suddenly, smacked Sirius in the face.

"OW! That hurt Moony!" he pouted rubbing his stinging cheek.

"I'M. GOING. TO. BE. DOSED. WITH. LOVE. POTION! Do you not understand the seriousness of this situation!"

James sighed "Calm down Remus, Just don't drink anything that you haven't tested yet. There's a spell you can use to make sure it's not spiked with anything."

"Really?" Remus said curiously, feeling slightly better.

"Yeah, me and Sirius have both had to use it at some point." James shrugged

"Yeah!" Peter agreed

Sirius snickered "Oh please Wormtail, the only girl that's ever chased you is McGonagall, and that was only so you'd hand in your transfiguration homework."

Peter's face turned scarlet red "W-what! That's not t-true!" he stuttered avoiding their eyes.

"So you'll be fine." James reassured Remus "We'd never let you hurt your dearest Beatrice anyway" he grinned mischievously

"Yeah, imagine how upset she'd be if you were acting all soppy about someone else." Sirius added

Remus grimaced "Stuff it, Sirius."

Sirius raised his hands in defense.

* * *

"Okay so the wand movement is more like a small circle, and then flicked to the side, like this." Remus demonstrated.

"Oh okay, I think I get it. Kind of like this?" Beatrice attempted the wand movement.

"Hmmm… no I think you're not getting the flick at the end right." Remus concluded.

"Ugh! Oh Remus just give up on me. I just can't do it!" She plopped herself down in one of the chairs by their table in the library.

"Oh come on, you're not doing too bad at all. You understand the theory behind the spell perfectly!"

"Yes but that's only half the work. I actually have to be able to perform the spell and we've been at this for over an hour!" She sighed

He smiled "You can get it! Don't worry, I won't let you fail. Here, get up." He took her arm and pulled her to her feet.

Her face still looked sad and disappointed. He stood behind her, raising her wand hand.

"Um what are you doing?" She asked

"Teaching you." He said simply he put his hand over her wand and preformed the movement with her. "See how it should feel?"

"Yes, much better." She blushed

Remus then realized the minimal amount of space between them and he suddenly jumped away "Heh heh… er okay now you try it by yourself."

She looked disappointed "Oh, okay." She waved her wand and succeeded in making the right movement this time.

"Good!" Remus smiled "Much better. Now you need to focus in your mind what parts of the body you're going to change. Clear your head of all other thoughts besides what you're doing, just like with any other spell. You have to be very specific when performing it and make sure your clear with what you want to change, or it won't some out right at all and you could end up doing some damage on the person."

Beatrice grimaced "Oh great."

"Hmm… I think we need someone to practice on…" Remus trailed off as he saw a small first year walking by. "Perfect." He said snatching the boy right off his feet.

He yelped "Hey! What are you-?"

"We need your help kid, she has to practice human transfiguration and well you're going to be the dummy!"

Beatrice looked at him hopefully.

"Dummy-! Look Mr. that's really-!"

"-I'll pay you five galleons." Remus whispered into his ear.

"-Nice!" the kid finished "So nice of you to offer!" he said a fake grin plastered o his face.

"Alright Beatrice, remember what I taught you." Remus encouraged

"Okay…" Beatrice said uncertainly and pointed her wand at the kid's face. A pained expression crossed his face and squeezed his eyes shut.

She shut her eyes in concentration "Okay here we go. Mutare corporis!" she shouted

"AAAKKK!" The boy shouted in surprise

"Oh my Merlin! Are you hurt!" Beatrice asked frantically

"Well no… but YESS!"

"Well what is it?"

"You made me a-a-

"Yes?"

A-A-A G-GIRL!"

Beatrice giggled and Remus chuckled at his antics. "You'll be fine," he reassured him. Then turned to Beatrice. "Nice job! You were great! You transfigured him perfectly!"

Beatrice blushed "Only thanks to you. You're a really good teacher Remus."

Remus felt as though he's been stupefied. "Oh er- t-thanks." He mumbled, his face flushing pink slightly. "Say Beatrice, can I er- walk you back to your common room?"

"Sure." She replied shyly "I'd like that.

He smiled and put one hand on her back to lead her out of the library.

Meanwhile a little blonde-haired girl in a fluffy pink dress screamed "HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME! YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME HERE LIKE THIS! I STILL LOOK LIKE A FRILLY BINT!"

* * *

"Thanks for tutoring me." Beatrice said as they walked down the corridor. The halls were quiet, most students had retired for the night, and only prefects were out now, patrolling the halls, as curfew was in an hour.

"No problem, you're a quick learner."

"Thanks." She mumbled quietly. "Oh, it's just over there." She pointed to a wall, with a tapestry hanging over it.

"So I guess this is it then. I'll see you tomorrow I suppose." Remus said rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Yeah…" She looked a little disappointed.

Remus looked down at his feet before glancing up into her eyes to see she was watching him. He'd never really taken the chance to look this closely at her before. She had long curly brown hair that framed her face nicely, warm brown eyes, a slender frame, and an inviting smile. Overall Remus could honestly say he's liked what he saw, of course, he'd never admit that out loud…yet.

He wasn't sure if it was his subconscious mind or what, but it seemed as though they'd been moving closer to one another.

Remus's eyes widened when he realized he was just inches away from her.

"Uhhhh… umm….soo… see ya tomorrow!" he shook her hand quickly and legged it down the hall and out of sight.

Beatrice on the other hand rolled her eyes "Boys…"

* * *

**Aaaaaaad DONE! I know I said it might be a while before I could put out another chapter but I DID IT! WOO HOO! Ten points Gryffindor! Anyway I hope you enjoyed it! **

**For the next chapter I was thinking of having some of it in Beatrice's POV. What would you guys think about that? I think it would reveal a lot more information if we could get her take on things, don't ya think? Review with your opinions on that, would ya? THANKS!**

**See yeah next time my lovelies!**

**PEACE OUT SUCKA'S**

**-CaptainMeghanSparrow**


	7. bothering Snape and very angry Beatrice

Love Story… Oh Bullocks

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Except the plot and my OC…yes that's it, that's all I've got for my disclaimer. Sorry if you were hoping for another funny one buuuuut… I got nothin.

**Chapter 7 **

**(A/N Wow I can't believe I'm on chapter 7, that's the furthest I've gotten in a story… ever!)**

**tap, tap, tap … tap, tap… tap, tap, ta-**

"WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT?"

"Stop doing what?" **tap, tap tap-**

In a rage James snatched the quill out of Remus's hand and snapped it in half.

"You bloody git! That was my last quill!"

"Well you were annoying the magic out of me!"

"Well if you weren't such a ponce-!"

"A PONCE-? I'll show you a ponce, you ungrateful sod-!"

"Would you both just SHUT UP!" yelled a very angered Sirius.

They turned to look at him, a little shocked by his outburst. "Why are you two fighting?"

Remus answered "James is just in a mood because Lily turned him down for the…" he counted on his fingers "three hundredth and forty seventh time." He smirked

"Oh shut up Remus! Just because you're all happy and dandy about your new girl—"

Remus spluttered "M-my w-what! I _do not _have a new girl!"

James smiled mischievously "Oh yeah? Then who's this Beatrice chick?"

"I told you! She's just my friend!"

"Stop denying it, we all know you love her-"

"DO NOT-!"

"-and want to snog her face off-"

"I NEVER SAID-!"

"-all day, all the time-"

"What am I, Sirius?"

"No, I am!" Sirius cut in but James continued on.

"-for the rest of your life!"

"I never said anything like- wait what? What did you even say? Were you insulting me?" Remus asked uncertainly.

"Huh? Oh yeah, I think so."

"Well I'm just confused now." Sirius said massaging his temples.

"Hey, where's Wormtail?" James asked

"Pff! Like that little git is ever around, haven't you noticed he's always disappearing?" Remus asked

"Yeah…" Sirius rubbed his chin "He almost never hangs out with us anymore, we only see him in class, and at some meals."

"Well where could he-?" James was cut off

"Hey guys!" said a voice.

They all whipped around to see the fat lump of a boy in the flesh.

"Well, well, well if it isn't our old pal _Pe-ter_." Sirius said condescendingly

"What's up mates?" he asked

"Oh, nothing." Sirius replied "Nothing you'd be interested in of course, considering you don't seem to want to be involved in our pranks or in our group anymore."

"W-what? Of course I do! You guys are my best friends!"

"Are we Wormtail? Are we _really_?" James sneered "You haven't been acting like it lately."

"Gee, I'm sorry guys, I've just been real busy." He said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Sirius and James exchanged a look "Weeeeeeellllll alright, I guess we could forgive you…THIS TIME!"

Remus stood there, dumbfounded. "That's it? You not even going to give him a kick in the arse or anything!"

"Ummm… nope."

"W-what's happened to you guys! I DON'T EVEN RECOGNISE YOU ANYMORE!" Remus yelled and ran out the door of the library.

"QUIET IN THE LIBRARY!" a voice shushed them, most likely Madame Pince, the librarian.

"Hmm… maybe we should have kicked Peter in the arse after all?" Sirius suggested

"HEY!"

"Well I dunno what's wrong with Remus these days but it's obviously not just his _time –of- the-month_." James said whispered

"I'm telling you, it's that girl he's been hanging around." Sirius said

"Really? Cause I was just joking before, I didn't think he was actually serious about her, I was just trying to get under his skin."

"I think he's in denial about his feelings for her."

"Why would he be in denial?" Peter asked curiously

"Keep up, Wormtail!" James rolled his eyes "Remus doesn't _want _to like any girls. He's afraid of what they'll think of him if they ever found out the truth about his-"

"BADLY BEHAVED RABBIT!" Sirius cut in.

James looked at him blankly "What?"

"Yup! That darn rabbit always gets in Remus's way, did you see all the scratches it's given him?" He said loudly

"Sirius if you inhaled the potions fumes in our last class…"

"Yeah Sirius, you know Remus doesn't have a-"

"HAHAHA!" Sirius barked fake laughter "Oh James, Peter, you're so silly! You know all about Remus's pet rabbit!" He looked James in the eye then his eyes shifted over to a book case and back again.

James let his eyes wander over to shelves of books and he saw a flash of unmistakably greasy, black hair.

James' eyes narrowed "Yes, of course I know all about uh- Bernard! Really out of control isn't he, scratches the poor fellow up all the time. Course he's too nice to get rid of it!"

Peter looked at them like they were crazy "Wha-?"

"Well come on mates, better go check on the poor guy!" Sirius announced pushing them out of the library.

"That was a close one." James said as they got out of sight.

"Yeah, that Snape really gets on my nerves, he's always snooping around."

"I AM NOT!" yelled a voice.

The three boys whipped around to see Snape half standing out of a waste receptacle placed nearby.

His eyes widened at his mistake. The Marauder's got menacing looks on their faces and in a flash they were running toward him.

"AHHH!" Snape yelled tipping over his hiding place and bolted in the opposite direction. He was quick, but not quick enough. James and Sirius caught up with him first with Peter bringing up the rear. They tackled him to the ground, knocking the wind out of him.

"What do you think you're doing Snivillus! Didn't Mummy ever tell you it's rude to intrude on other people's conversations?" Sirius sneered

"What did you hear!" James demanded

"Nothing important!" Snape said

"Don't lie to us!"

"I'm not! I only heard you saying something about a rabbit, a time of the month and Black laughing like a maniac!"

"Fine. But I still say we hex him for good measure!" Sirius grinned

"Excellent idea, Padfoot my friend." James agreed.

"JAMES POTTER! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" screeched a voice.

The Marauders whipped around to see one Miss Lily Evans pointing her wand straight at James nose.

"Heh heh Evans, what a pleasant surprise!" he grinned nervously.

"Let. Him. Up." She growled

"Yes dear!" James took his foot off Snape's chest.

"Wimp." Sirius muttered

"What can I say, I'm in love!" was James' explanation.

Lily rolled her eyes and offered Snape her hand, pulling him to his feet. "Leave him alone from now on Potter or-"

"-Or what? You won't actually do anything." He accused "_But _if you were to say…go out with me, then I'd be sure to leave Snivillus alone." He grinned

There was a long pause as Lily glowered at him and Snape looked furious at James' suggestion.

Finally Lily broke the silence with a "Get bent." Grabbed Snape's sleeve and pulled him away.

Sirius and peter snickered at this. "Well Prongs, we can round that number up to three hundredth and forty eighth time."

James smacked him over the head "Shut up!"

* * *

*****Switch to Beatrice POV*****

"See yeah!" I called to a few of my Ravenclaw friends before heading in the opposite direction.

I walked briskly toward the library and was just about to turn the corner when I collided head on straight into Remus Lupin. We landed with a crash on the ground, me on top of him.

I'm pretty sure my face turned about ten shades of crimson red. "I-I-I-" I stuttered

He just grinned cutely "Didn't see me?" he suggested

"D-didn't see you? Well I should have, I mean it's hard not to notice you- I mean! not that I do!" I corrected, then saw my mistake "Well not that you're not important to me or something, you actually are _really _important –I MEAN! Not in a creepy stalker sort of way!" I reassured him

He smiled again "of course. Um, could you maybe…?

"Yes?" I asked

"Get off of me?"

Once again, I blushed "Oh my Merlin! Of course!" I pushed myself off of him and offered him a hand up.

He took it and he got to his feet. "Well we never have dull meetings do we?"

I smiled "That's for sure."

"So where were you headed?"

"Oh, the library, I really need to finish that charms essay."

Remus grimaced "I just came from there; my mates are being big prats."

"Did they set you up with another crazy psycho?" I teased

He stuck his tongue out at me "No. They've actually stopped that, thank goodness."

"Well what then?"

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly "It's nothing."

I pouted "Oh come on, you can tell me!"

He sighed "Fine. See, they seem to think…"

"Yeah? What?"

"That you and I are more than friends…"

I felt my eyes widen and my heartbeat pick up pace. "Oh."

"Yeah, crazy right?"

For once, I couldn't think of anything to say.

He broke the silence "Beatrice?" he asked "That _is_ crazy right?"

I suddenly found my shoes very interesting. "Yeah," I said quietly "crazy." Tears pricked the corners of my eyes. I knew he could never think of me as anything else. I'm just _me _after all.

"I-I have to go." I mumbled and walked right past him. Well at least I tried, but a hand reached out and grabbed my wrist, holding me back.

I froze in place, my head still bowed. I didn't want him to see my tears.

"Bea?" he said quietly. Using the nickname my friends called me for the first time ever.

"Mhmm?"

"You do just like me as a friend right?"

I said nothing for a moment "Do I really have to answer?" I asked

He didn't say anything for a second either. But I felt his grip on my wrist tense. "Will you look at me please." He finally said

I turned to him. I saw confusion and… sadness? On his face.

I wiped my eyes, finally letting him see me cry, ugh! I was being stupid. I'm not some wimp here! Ok, that's it! Let's get this over with!

"Of course I don't just think of you as a friend you bone-head!" I yelled. Heh heh, too much?

His eyes widened "Uhh… really?"

"Yes, really! For a smart guy, you sure are dumb!" I huffed and stomped off in the other direction.

Well, I think I handled that pretty well.

**A/N AAAANNND DONE! What do you think? I know it's taken me awhile but I just wasn't very inspired to write Harry Potter fan fictions for awhile, but I think I got my mojo back! I really hope you liked this chapter! And I made it extra long too! REVIEW PLEASEEYYY WEAZZYYY! Love yeah guys! ;)**


	8. One fight after another

Love Story? …Oh Bullocks

**Disclaimer:**** I am pleased to inform you all that I now own HARRY POTTER!… So you do you think that was believable? Did you really think I owned Harry Potter! You think anyone else will believe it too? yeah… I didn't think so either. **sigh****

**A/N READ&REVIEW PLEASE! Without enough reviews I won't update as quickly!**

Chapter 8

****Remus' POV****

"Stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID!"

Remus, may I ask why you are repeatedly bashing your head against that wall?"

"Oh, hi Lily." I mumbled into the wall.

"Hi!" she replied cheerfully "Sooo what's going on?"

"I'm an idiot." I said simply.

"Well besides that."

"ha-ha!" I laughed sarcastically and finally pulled my bruised head away from the common room wall. Then I wobbled and almost fell over.

Lily steadied me "Remus what happened?" she looked concerned. Lily and I were pretty good friends despite the fact she hated James, she found me tolerable enough.

I sighed "Nothing."

She frowned "You don't smash your head against the wall for nothing, so tell me right now Remus Lupin or I swear to god I'll hex your manly bits off!"

My eyes widened, she actually didn't look like she was kidding. And I knew better than to mess with Lily, especially when she was in a rage.

"Alright, alright" I gave in "Geez, woman."

She smiled triumphantly.

"Wait- what do you mean 'bits'?" I asked, offended… they weren't just 'bits' humph!

She glared at me.

I grimaced "Okay, well you know Beatrice Swiftly from Ravenclaw?"

"Yeah sure, she's in my transfiguration class, what about her?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Weeeeeeell, yeah see…"

A huge grin made its way onto Lily's face "OH. MY. GOD! YOU FANCY HER!" she screamed.

My heart just about skipped a beat "Lily!" I hissed "Shut up!"

She covered her mouth and giggled "Whoops."

"A-and I'm not sure I really do fancy her anyway. All I know is she's really mad at-"

"Remus." Lily cut me off, her face looked stern. "Do you like spending time with her?"

"Yes, but-"

"Do you like talking with her?"

"Well yes, but-"

"Do you wish you could see her more often?"

"Of course, but-"

"But what? Remus you like the girl! You should really go for it. You deserve this." She smiled encouragingly at me.

I knew she was right, but somehow, her good advice almost seemed to make me more depressed. I shook my head "It's more complicated than that Lily." I said quietly.

She sighed sadly "Only if you make it that way Remus." She patted my hand and headed up to her dormitory.

I sighed. I knew she was right about everything, but how was I ever to get close to anyone when they didn't know the whole truth about me? She'd be completely disgusted if she ever found out I was a werewolf. I couldn't let that happen, not to her.

I hauled myself up to the sixth year's boys dormitory and threw myself onto my bed.

Suddenly the door flew open and James, Sirius and Peter's heads poked inside the door.

"Helloooo!"

"Heelllloooooo!"

"Heeeeelllllooooooo!"

They sang their greeting like a barbershop quartet. But even that didn't cheer me up.

"Hi." I sulked

"Look Remus I'm really sorry if we pushed you too much about that girl. It's none of our business." James said

"Damn straight." I agreed

"WHAT? Wait just a minute! This is the part where you say you were wrong, and we can come up with a devious plan to get you two together, and get married and have super smart mega babies!" Sirius objected

I rolled my eyes "Just face it Sirius, there isn't and never will be mega babies on this earth."

He pouted "Never?"

I shrugged "Sorry."

"Forget that Sirius!" James interjected "Where'd you disappear to? We've been looking all over for you!"

I looked away "Nowhere really."

The three other Marauders' exchanged a knowing look.

"Ok, he was definitely _somewhere._" Sirius decided

"Oh, for sure." James agreed

"Huh? I just said nowhere! Don't you believe me?"

"No." they all said in unison

"Some friends." I mumbled

"You weren't by any chance with Beatrice?" Peter asked

I was probably blushing by now "Don't make me hex you." I threw back at him.

He grinned "HE WAS!"

I narrowed my eyes at him "You're walking on mighty thin ice Wormtail."

"heh heh…" he chuckled nervously.

"No need to threaten the poor boy," Sirius said "So you gonna tell us what happened?"

"I'd rather not."

"Oh come on Remmypoo, we're your friends, you're supposed to tell us stuff like this." James agreed with Sirius.

"Fine, but only if you never call me 'Remmypoo' again." God I hated that nickname, and knowing my friends it would probably follow me for the rest of my life.

"Deal!"

I sighed "Well you guys were right."

"Course we were!" Sirius smiled triumphantly, then frowned "Er- about what again?"

I rolled my eyes. How thick could you get? "Beatrice! It's about Beatrice! …She actually did like me after all."

They just stared at me like I was an idiot.

"What?" I asked

"…Well, duh Remus. Even _I _knew that!" Peter said

"Yeah and Peter never knows anything!" Sirius added

"Yeah...Hey!" he said, looking offended.

"All I know is that she's mad at me now, so what the bloody hell am I gonna do!" Would she ever forgive me? I really hurt her feelings.

"No need to wet yourself over it." Sirius rolled his eyes and I narrowed mine.

"Well what do you suggest then?" I hoped it wasn't anything crazy.

…Let's just say all the hoping in the world didn't do any good.

* * *

****Third person POV****

"Okay here's the plan," Sirius started.

"Hold on!" James said and pointed behind them, the four boys turned to see a sneering Severus Snape.

"What do you want Snivillus?" Sirius grimaced.

He just went on scowling "I want Potter to stay away from Lily."

"Yeah and why is that Snivilly? Got a crush?" he mocked

If possible Snape's sneered even more. "Only one of us can have Lily."

"Yeah and as _James Potter _that someone should be me!" James

"No no no!" Snape protested "I should have Lily, we've been friends since childhood!"

"And I have been awesome since birth, what's your point?" he shot back.

"This fighting over her is getting ridiculous Potter, we need a way to settle it."

"What did you have in mind? Because _plan A_ was to just simply kill you."

"Must everything end in death?" Remus asked

Sirius and James exchanged a look.

"Uh, yeah."

"Pretty much."

Snape intervened "She's never going to love you Potter, besides what would your pureblood Mummy say if you brought home a mudblood?" he sneered.

The four Gryffindor's eyes widened, and as quick as Remus going after a bar of milk chocolate, James' wand was between Snape's eyes.

Then suddenly someone said "What Severus?" The group of boys spun around. They saw Lily standing there watching them. "What did you say?" she raged

"He was calling you a- a you-know-what! I told you Evans! I told you what he was like!" James jumped in.

"I-I didn't mean-" Snape stuttered

"I can't believe you Severus-" Lily started

"Don't worry Lily! I'll defend you!" James said

"I don't need anyone to defend me James."

He waved it off "Course you do, you're a woman."

She rolled her eyes and sighed dejectedly.

"Well why should _you _get to defend _her_ Potter?" Snape growled

James laughed "And who else is it gonna be? _You_? Pff! You see this? I'm head boy! So obviously, I'm just better than you in every possible way! See? Ya see that?" he practically shoved his head boy badge up Snape's nose as he was showing it to him.

"Ugh, don't touch it too much; you're getting it all greasy." He polished his badge on his shirt. "Now that that's cleared up and we all agree that I'm super-mega-foxy-awesome-hott, as I was saying I should get-"

"Well done Potter, she's already left." Snape pointed out.

James spun around 360°, seeing no Lily, he then turned back to Snape "I'm blaming you for this."

* * *

"Now as I was saying before _someone _decided to pick a fight with Snivillus." Sirius looked pointedly at James who was picking at his nails.

James looked up "Oh he had it coming to him! Yeah like he's better than me," he muttered under his breath "I'm James Potter for god sakes…"

"Aaaaaaanyway," Sirius cut him off "Remus I think you should just put it out in the open and simply declare your love for-"

"Alright, I'm gonna stop you right there. Declare my _what?_ Remind me why I ever let you plan things?"

Sirius just looked at him blankly "Is this a trick question?"

Remus shook his head "I'm surrounded by idiots." He stated and walked off.

"Must be his time of the month." James decided.

"Hey, where's Peter?" Sirius wondered

James shrugged "Dunno, he's gone again. Oh well, at least it's not like he's with the Slytherins working for Voldemort and planning our future death or anything."

Sirius barked laughter "Yeah sure, and I'm gonna go to Azkaban for murder one day."

They burst out laughing "Good one Padfoot."

* * *

Remus stomped down the Hogwarts corridors in a rage 'declare is love?' pff! Sirius' plans never worked, why would this time be any different?

"REMUS!" shrieked a voice. A blonde haired girl came bolting down the hallway "REMUS! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT AWAY!"

"Why are you shouting? I'm right here!"

"Oh. Whoops." She giggled "It's me, Noelle? Remember?"

"Oh no!" Remus said recognizing her. He slapped a hand over his mouth as the words came out.

She frowned "What?"

"I-I mean, oh Noelle! How are you? He plastered a fake grin on his face.

A smile came back to her face "Oh I'm good, you see since we didn't get to finish our date I thought-"

"Remus there you are!" called a red-headed girl.

"Uh, do I know you?" he asked. Almost as soon as the words left his mouth, he remembered her as a girl from his fan-club.

"Oh, I'm Annabel." She introduced herself cheerfully "You see, my aunt sent me this big bottle of butterbeer, but I can't drink it since i'm allergic, so do you-"

"Excuse me, _dear_" came the sickly sweet voice of Noelle "_I _was actually talking to Remus first."

"So?"

"So get lost!"

"I don't have to leave! I can talk to Remus if I want!"

"Girls," Interjected Remus "I actually have to go to-"

"See!" Noelle said "Now he wants to leave! This is your entire fault Annabel!"

"_My _fault? He probably doesn't want to look at that hideous thing you call a face!"

Noelle's cheeks turned red "AAAAHHRGGGGG!" she let out a loud war-like cry before tackling Annabel to the ground.

"CAT FIGHT!" someone yelled. A crowd gathered around and Remus was pushed out of the circle.

He covered his face with his hands "Ohhhrruughhh-I hate my life!"

**A/N That's all I got for now! Do you think it was too random? I sure hope not, I was just kinda trying to make it funny, cause I don't think there was enough humor in the last chapter, so I hope this one was okay. The next chapter will progress the Remus/Beatrice relationship. This chapter was just mostly Remus sulking about it and wondering what to do haha I thought he should have some time to mull it over. **

**Just review if yeah liked it please, or if you thought it was too stupid, whichever.**

**See yeah next time!**

**-CaptainMeghanSparrow**


	9. DANCE LIKE A HIPPOGRIFF!

Love Story… Oh Bullocks

**Disclaimer: **

**James: "Go out with me Evans?"**

**Lily: "Oh please, that's as likely as the author of this story ever actually owning the rights to Harry Potter."**

**James: "AHA! So there's a chance then!"**

**Lily: "…no. Just no, Potter." **

**James: **sniffle sniffle** "B-but we were gonna make beautiful little baby Potter's together!"**

**Lily: "Just give up James."**

**James: "YOU CALLED ME JAMES! THAT PROVES THAT YOU LOVE ME! VICTORY!"**

**Lily: **sigh****

**-Just to confirm, I really don't own Harry Potter. Siriusly ;)**

A/N HEYY PEOPLE! Sorry I've been AWOL lately but I just haven't been able to think of another chapter, TILL NOW! You guys probably already figured this but I don't update at a certain time I just update when I can think of another piece of dialogue or a funny joke and make it into part of this story. That's just how my process works I think I got a good chapter here, so enjoy, my friends!

Chapter 9

Remus sat alone in the Gryffindor common room. He watched the fire flicker and eventually die out. On his face remaining the same sad expression. Beatrice had been avoiding him all week and he didn't know what he was to do.

Just then the portrait hole burst open and James, Sirius, and Peter tumbled through, falling on the floor in a heap, laughing their heads off.

Remus didn't even bother to turn toward them to see what hilarious trouble they'd gotten themselves into.

"Oi Moony! You gotta see what we did to…" James trailed off, seeing Remus' sullen face.

He bumped Sirius' shoulder "Hey, I think he's upset."

"You sure?"

At this point Remus sighed mournfully and also particularly loudly.

James raised an eyebrow "Pretty sure." He concluded "So Remus ol' pal, what's on your mind?" he asked sliding onto the couch next to him.

He slumped down in his chair "It's Beatrice."

"Here we go again! I swear you're almost as bad as James' talking about Lily now!" Sirius complained.

Remus glared "Well if you don't want to know then fine, don't ask." He got up but James tugged him back down.

"Oh, no no no no noooo, you're not stomping out of the room _again._"

"Yeah, you do that so often I can't tell if your actually mad or if it's for dramatic effect." Peter said.

Remus scowled "If you lot are trying to make me feel better, you suck at it."

"Look mate, we'll figure out what to do about Beatrice later, but right now I think you need a guy's night out!" Sirius decided.

Remus looked at him with a skeptical expression "Guys night out?"

"Yeah, no worrying about girls- or lack thereof-" he looked pointedly at Remus and James who narrowed their eyes at him "I know! Who's up for the three broomsticks?"

"Sure!"

"Yeah, I could go for a drink." James and Peter agreed.

Sirius turned to their werewolf friend "Remus?"

"Ughh fine. But if we get caught, I'm not getting blamed for this, I'm gonna sing like a canary!"

"Let's go!" Sirius said happily.

* * *

They used the secret passageway from Hogwarts to Hogsmead behind the one eyed witch statue. "I still say this is a bad idea, what if Rosmerta won't serve us since she knows we're Hogwarts students?" Remus asked

Sirius rolled his eyes "Oh please Moony, Rosmerta will serve us, she _loves _me."

"Whatever you say Padfoot." Remus said sarcastically.

"Here we are!" He said pointing to the three broomsticks. The cozy little bar was tucked in between the quidditch supply shop and Honeydukes.

They ran inside to avoid the bitterly cold winter weather and were quickly seen by Rosmerta. "Aren't you boys out a little late?" she asked suspiciously

"Of course Rosmerta dear, that's what makes it fun. You know how we do." Sirius said winking at her. She giggled and blushed like a giddy school girl "So a round of drinks to start then?"

"Yes please, love." Sirius smiled charmingly.

Remus' jaw dropped "How on earth do you do that?"

"It's easy when you're as handsome as me, it doesn't matter what you say, it just always comings out charmingly."

"Really?" Remus scoffed "Even if you said something like 'I, Sirius Black, am gay and shall never be with another woman again for as long as I live!'?"

Sirius grimaced "Ok, it _almost _works for any words." He perked up "Hey I bet you could do it now, you're much better looking than before!"

"I've told you before and I'll tell you again, I only like you as a friend. I'm sorry."

"Oh put a sock in it you sod, I'm trying to save you here. I bet if you could just get a chance to talk with Beatrice, you could totally win her back! She's like putty in your hands when you're around her. I've seen it myself!"

Remus considered this "Yeah but…"

"But what!? That was actually one of my better plans!" Sirius pouted

"It just sounds morally wrong."

Sirius stared blankly at him "So?"

"…You are such a man-whore."

He looked offended "Just because I date tones of girls and snogged more than half the female population at Hogwarts, and shagged almost all the sixth year Gryff- ok yeah I am…"

Remus rubbed his eyes "Oh my giddy aunt…"

"You know what, forget that! This is boy's night and we're meant to be having fun!"

Rosmerta then brought their drinks over and Sirius once again winked at her "Now gents, bottoms up!" he said raising his glass, and the other three boys followed his example as they toasted to being the best magical mischief-makers there ever were and drank up.

* * *

****The Next Morning****

"Ugggghhhhhhhhhhh…"

"Oi, Prongs, Wormtail! He's coming to!" Sirius announced as they gathered around the fourth marauder's four poster bed.

Remus awoke in a daze "W-what happened?" he asked groggily, pushing himself up onto his elbows.

His three friends grinned down at him looking amused.

Remus sunk into the pillows "This scene looks vaguely familiar. You aren't going to attack me again are you?"

They laughed "No worries mate, we won't have to do that again." Sirius said

"Well, at least not yet…" James added with a mischievous glint in his eye.

Remus grimaced "ha-ha, OUCH! My head, ughh I think I'm gonna throw up!"

James waved his wand quickly conjuring up a bucket and shoved it in front of Remus's face just as he threw up violently.

He wiped his mouth "Well that was bloody disgusting. Why exactly to I feel like shit?"

His friends grinned "You mean you don't remember _anything_?" Peter asked

"No… I mean, I remember going to the three broomsticks, and ordering drinks, then nothing…"

Peter snickered "Oh this is too good." He laughed falling over onto his bed.

Remus glared at him "Shut your fat gob and tell me what's going on."

"Weeeeeeell," James started "See you didn't want to have any drinks after the first one so when you went to use the loo we kind of…" James trailed off.

"We might have…" Sirius started.

"They spiked your drink." Peter interjected.

The two pranksters glared at their pudgy friend.

"YOU SPIKED MY BLEEDIN' DRINK!? WHY YOU-YOU-! URGH!"

They at least had the decency to look guilty.

"We didn't think you'd keep throwing them back!"

"We never imagined you'd go so crazy!" they answered together

Remus put his face I his hands "Just tell me what happened, what did I do?"

The three animagus' exchanged looks "Well…"

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BACK TO YESTERDAY~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**WoOoOoOoOoOoOoOooo!**

"_Hey guys! Guys! I fink we thould snoo dis *_hick!* _every _*hick!* _night!" Remus slurred_

_James and Sirius exchanged a worried look "Okay Remus, I think you've had enough there buddy." Sirius decided and moved to take Remus's drink away. But he whipped his glass away from Sirius, and out of reach._

"_Oh who gives a flying french kneazle! It's just one more fiffywhiseyy ya stick in the mud." He stuck his tongue out childishly at his friend and chugged back the rest of the firewhiskey in his glass._

"_I don't see this turning out well." James concluded _

"_No… I see it turning out hilarious!" Sirius grinned._

"_He's gonna be-"_

"_Yeah, yeah he'll be pissed off later, but let's just enjoy the smashed Moony for now, shall we?"_

_James hesitated for a moment but eventually agreed with his friend and began cheering along with the rest of the pub for Remus who had climbed up on a table and was singing a Weird Sisters song _very_ loudly._

"_CAN YOU DANCE LIKE A HIPPOGRIFF! __MA MA MA, MA MA MA, MA MA MA!"_

_He then whipped his shirt off and swung it around his head in circles. Witches screamed and cheered even louder for him. "GO LUPIN!" _

"_YEAH BUDDY!"_

"_YOUR AWESOME!"_

"_I LOVE YOU!"_

"_YOU'RE SO SEXY!" they shouted as he began doing a dance, well mostly shaking his butt really._

"_He's totally going to regret this in the morning." James observed_

"_Oh no doubt." Sirius agreed._

_Then James frowned "Who's that?" he asked pointing to a wizard in a corner of the bar watching the scene with amusement and scribbling in his notepad furiously._

_Sirius glanced to where James was pointing "Oh, that's Rooty Skeeter. I think he has a daughter that's in the year below us. He writes for the Daily Prof… Oh no." He gasped with wide eyes "Oh _HELL _no."_

"_This is…" James began_

"_-Not good." Sirius finished for him. _

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~PRESENT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Sirius, James and Peter covered their ears.

****Ten minutes later****

"-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Remus finally ended his scream and the rest of the marauders uncovered their ears.

James grimaced "You done?"

Remus thought for a moment, and then shrugged "Yeah I think that's it."

"Finally," Peter glared at Remus "I think my ears are bleeding."

"Well if you haven't noticed this new information was kind of, oh what's the word, um… HORRIBLE!" he yelled in Wormtail's face.

Peter leaned away from Remus "H-he's scaring me guys."

Sirius pushed Peter out of the way. "Calm yourself down Remus; you don't know for sure that he'd write about it in the Daily Prophet. It's not a really a big story after all, I'm sure they've got better stuff to write about than you doing a strip tease."

"DOING A _WHAT_?"

James glared at Sirius "Now you've done it. I thought we agreed to leave that part out."

Sirius grinned sheepishly "Whoops…"

* * *

"NO! I'm. Not. Going. In!" Remus yelled as Sirius and James pulled him toward the Great Hall.

"You have to! It's breakfast!" James insisted

"Then I'll just starve!"

"Quit being a bloody pillock and get in there!" Sirius said firmly while pushing him.

"YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

"What are you, about four years old?"

"Shut your gob you manky git!"

"What on earth is going on here!?" said a sharp voice. All three boys froze and turned slowly to see the pinched face of Minerva McGonagall.

"Oh…"

"Well…"

"We were, um…"

"I know it's difficult for you, but stop acting like uncivilized children and get in the Great Hall for breakfast immediately!"

James and Sirius grinned while Remus looked terribly distressed. "B-but Professor!"

"What is it Mr. Lupin?"

"I-I um, have you seen the Daily Prophet this morning?"

She looked quite baffled at his question but replied anyway "Yes of course."

"Um and was there anything you found shocking or unusual?"

"No more so than usual Mr. Lupin, now I suggest you gentleman get to breakfast before you make yourselves late." She said

Remus sighed in relief "Thank goodness.

Professor McGonagall made her way toward the doors to the Great Hall. But stopped short before she got there and turned back to them.

"Mr. Lupin?"

"Yes professor?"

"Next time you decide to go out I suggest you stay away from Fire Whiskey, that table dance was quite a show." She looked at him pointedly and her mouth twitched upwards before she spun around and disappeared through the doors to the Great Hall.

Remus' eyes widened "No. oh no. no. no. no. no. no!"

James and Sirius took this moment of distraction to push him into the Great Hall. Everybody turned to look up as they entered. Everyone began whispering to one another at once.

"Oh god." Remus muttered as they headed toward the Gryffindor table and took their seats.

Lily Evans walked up to them. "So Remus, what exactly do you call this dance?" she asked as she pointed to his picture in the Profit. He was standing on a table wiggling his hips and smacking an invisible butt in front of him.

"Oh dear Merlin." He groaned and his head dropped onto the table, effectively smacking it off the wood.

She grinned mockingly. "Never thought you were one to do something like that."

"I blame the fire whiskey." Came his muffled reply "And them!" he added pointing at James and Sirius.

"Us?" They said innocently in unison.

Sirius clucked his tongue condescendingly. "Why Moony! I am shocked and appalled that you would blame us for such vulgarity on your part. Tsk, tsk my friend."

He glared and pushed Sirius off the bench.

"OW!"

"So you're behind this then." Lily decided "I should have known."

"Now Lily, it wasn't our _entire_ fault really. Remus is the one who downed all those drinks." James pointed out.

"OK!" Remus said hopping off the bench "I've had enough of people judging me for one morning. I'm gonna go take a walk before class, see ya later guys." he walked swiftly out of the Great Hall.

As soon as he got out of the Hall yet another problem seemed to be headed his way.

"Why if it isn't Mr. Luuuuuupinnn." Said a singing voice.

"Ughhh," Remus groaned "I'm not in the mood for this Malfoy, in case you haven't noticed. The Daily Prophet has just ruined my life."

He and his cronies laughed "Ahhh yes the Prophet, quite vulgur for you, isn't it Lupin?"

He sighed "If you'll excuse me I have to figure out what I'm going to do about this. Damn that Rooty Skeeter. Man I'd just like to-"

Lucius cut him off. "Yeah I know what you'd like to do. You'd like to find him, wouldn't you? Rip his still beating heart out of his chest and hold it in front of his face so he can see how black it is before he dies." **(A/N Recognize this line from anywhere?)**

Remus blinked "Actually I was just going to file a complaint to the editor."

"Right, of course." Lucius replied blankly.

There was an awkward silence. "I'm going to slowly back away now." Remus stated.

"You do that."

"I will."

"Ok."

Remus backed away then finally just turned around and ran for it.

After he got away from Malfoy, Remus began to walk in the direction of the Library. Maybe a good book could help get his mind of things… But he seriously doubted it, because the girl he'd been thinking about for the last two weeks came down the very same hallway.

She looked up. "Oh, Remus hi."

**A/N CLIFFHANGER! HA! So what do we think will happen? Will Remus finally work out what he feels for Beatrice? Will they have an relationshipy talk? Will there be a dramatic kiss and confession of love? …pff no! What the hell do you think this is? The freakin notebook or some shit? (never actually finished that movie by the way) **

**Anywugglesss, sorry for not updating for a long time but I made this chapter extra long, so you better not complain about it! :P **

_**Can you dance like a hippogriff? Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma! Flyin' off from a cliff! Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma! Swooping down to the ground Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma!**_

**Hehehe! Sorry, but I actually strangely like the Weird sisters. :D**

**PEACE OUT SUCKAS! See ya next time! Oh and review and stuff too please! Or I might just have to take longer with the next chapter, so there! …HA! **

**-CaptainMeghanSparrow ;)**


	10. One too many punches among friends

Love Story? …Oh Bullocks 

**Disclaimer: **

**Sirius: "When will you just admit you like Beatrice?"**

**Remus: "I'm not going to admit what's not true. You know, like how the author of this story can't say they actually own Harry Potter."**

**Sirius: "Well they might…"**

**Remus: "I'm sorry, did they all of a sudden become J.K Rowling?"**

**Sirius: "Well-"**

**Remus: "Did they grow blonde hair and become a famous writer?"**

**Sirius: "I-"**

**Remus: "Did they just gain a British accent out of nowhere?"**

**Sirius: "…no." **

**Remus: "Then there ya go!"**

**Sirius: "Why are you always right!?"**

A/N Just a quick little thing, there's quite a bit of swearing in this chapter and violence too (nothing bloody) so if you're sensitive to that kinda thing then press the little back button on your screen right now, cause this ain't the story for you. But if you don't give a flying french kneezle, then carry on my dears!

Chapter 10

"Uh- uh, Beatrice. What brings you to this hallway?" Remus asked nervously.

She raised an eyebrow "The library?" she pointed over her shoulder to the door labeled 'Library'.

"Right, right! The library, that's just, yeah…"

"Well, I better get back to class now."

"Right."

"Yup."

"So… Charms?"

"Yes, on my way to Charms."

"Me too."

"Well, brilliant then."

"I guess I'm going now."

"Okay then."

"So, Bye then."

"Bye…"

"Right, bye!" she flitted past Remus but before she could get very far he said,

"Beatrice!"

She stopped in her tracks "Yes?"

"I, um… I um just wanted to say…"

"Yes?" she urged him.

"Uhh…um… you have a loose thread there." He pointed to her uniform where a grey thread was hanging limply by her waist.

She looked down at it and plucked it off her skirt. "Oh, thanks." She said glumly and trudged off down the hallway once again.

As soon as she was out of sight Remus smacked himself in the face. "I am such an asshole."

* * *

"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TELL HER YOU LIKE HER YOU STUPID SOD!"

"I don't like her like that." Remus replied as calmly as he could while his temper was rising.

"You are a piece of shit liar." Sirius frowned

"Don't make me mad Sirius, I'm telling you I don't feel that way about her."

Sirius sighed and rubbed his eyes "Remus, it's not just me. James and Peter both want to see you with a girl. Why can't you just let yourself be happy? All you do is study, and read-"

"And that's a bad thing?"

"No, not at all, if you're Evans." Sirius rolled his eyes.

Remus sighed "Maybe I like reading! And maybe I don't want a girlfriend! All those girls you set me up with were fucking weirdos!" he raged.

"Okay! While that's true, Beatrice isn't a weirdo and you could be so happy with her if you'd just let your-"

Now Remus wasn't usually an angry person. When James and Sirius threw all his books out the window, he went and got them without complaining. They charmed his pumpkin juice to explode in his face, he wiped it off calmly with a napkin. They washed his clothes in a potion that caused them to gradually turn invisible, he noticed and managed to run all the way back to the common room in two minutes flat before classes got out.

But for once Remus couldn't take Sirius and James' pushing.

Before he realized that he'd even gotten out of his seat, he raised his fist and decked Sirius right in the face.

"AAAGGGHHH!" Sirius yelled as he flew back off the couch and hit the floor hard.

Remus stared wide eyed at his own fist.

Sirius lay on the floor clutching his face "MY NOSE IS IN MY BRAIN!" he cried

Remus kneeled down beside him "Er- you okay?" he asked sheepishly.

"You broke my precious nose, idiot!"

Remus sighed "Let me see it."

Sirius slowly took his hands away from his nose.

Remus' eyes widened "Oh my god!"

Sirius began to panic "What!?"

"You're a dork!"

Sirius grimaced "Fuck you Moony."

"No thanks."

"So I look okay then?"

"Yes Sirius, you still look freakin' gorgeous." He said while rolling his eyes.

Sirius wiggled his nose experimentally. "What's with all the bloody violence?"

"Sorry, I just got fed up with people telling me I needed a girl, and I wasn't happy. I swear if one more person tells me how happy I should be, I'm going to-!"

"Punch them in the face?" Sirius smirked

Remus grimaced. "I said I was sorry."

"No sweat man, sometimes you just need to get your anger out. But no more punching my face! Without this face, I don't have the whole badass package anymore!"

Remus laughed "Deal."

Sirius grinned "Good. Well I'm going up to bed. Just…just think about what I said okay Moony?"

Remus sighed "I can't guarantee I'll change my mind about anything. But I'll think about it."

Sirius smiled with satisfaction and placed a hand on his friend' shoulder briefly. "Night!"

Remus' smile faded as he sat in the dimly lit Gryffindor common room. "I'm such a stubborn arse." He muttered to himself. He head fell into his hands and he spent several hours going over Sirius' words.

_Why can't you just let yourself be happy?_

He'd done fine by himself for the past six years, why did he need someone now? Buuuuut on the other hand, she was such a bright, attractive, and interesting witch. She could always make him smile.

_Why can't you just let yourself be happy?_

He all of a sudden got a picture in his head. He and Beatrice walking hand in hand down the corridor. Smiling, laughing and just talking.

But if he ever started something with her, eventually he'd have to tell her what he was. Could he risk that?

_Why can't you just let yourself be happy?_

He knew he'd be happy with her, but for how long? What if she rejected him when she found out he was a werewolf? Was he willing to risk the heartbreak?

"fuckmylife." He mumbled into his hands.

* * *

The next day the Marauders had transfiguration first thing. Remus was carefully writing down all the notes on the board while James and Sirius were snoring in the seats on either side of him, and Peter was ducking under his desk occasionally to stuff his face with desserts he'd smuggled into class.

"Now while we've been working on human transfiguration, we haven't gone over animagi much. Animagi can transform their bodies into that of an animal. You cannot choose what animal you shift into. Furthermore it takes many years of excessive practice and studying to-" McGonagall cut off her lecture and glared in the direction of the Hufflepuffs. She strode over to their row of seats and slapped her ruler hard on one of the desks.

"Miss Weinstein!" She said loudly causing Noelle, Remus' crazy stalker, to jump out of her seat and snap out of the trance-like state she was in.

"Er-yes professor?" she asked in a small voice, shrinking back into her seat.

"Stop making flirty eyes at Mr. Lupin this instant!"

Noelle looked appalled by this idea "B-but-!"

"DETENTION!"

There was an outburst of giggling and Noelle flushed red. Remus on the other had sunk further and further down in his seat.

"Yes professor." She said quietly.

James elbowed Remus in his side "Well at least we know you can always find love with her eh?" he joked and began mimicking Noelle in a very high pitched voice "Oh Remus you're so hot! I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby!"

With another loud slap of the ruler McGonagall was now standing in front of their desks, Sirius jolted awake and was trying to wipe the drool discreetly off his desk.

"Is there something you need to share with the class Mr. Potter?"

"Er- I like cupcakes?"

McGonagall pursed her lips for a moment in concentration and then simply said "Pay attention." And walked back to the front of the room.

James wiped invisible sweat from his brow dramatically "Close one!"

"Can you ever be serious?" Remus wondered aloud.

"Of course not. I can't be Sirius, he's Sirius." He grinned pointing to the dog animagus. Sirius barked laughter and high fived James' over Remus' head.

Remus put his head on his desk "I just lost five IQ points."

* * *

"Why won't you just go out with me Evans!?" James asked Lily for the three hundredth and forty ninth time.

"Because Potter, you are an arrogant-"

"I simply like to share my accomplishments with others."

"-Bullying-"

"I toughen the younger students up."

"-douchebag."

James looked thoughtful for a minute "…Ok so you got me there. But I have so many more good qualities!"

"Sorry Potter- well ok, I'm not really sorry, but regardless, I'm not going to go out with you. I'd rather date the giant squid, a dementor or-or Remus!" She raised her eyebrows as she said it, almost in surprise of her own words. "Now that I think about it, Remus would make a great boyfriend." she said tapping her chin in thought.

James wore the expression similar to someone that had just been clubbed over the head with a beaters bat. "WHAT!? Y-you can't be serious!"

"No that would be your best mate." She smirked

"Lily!" he protested "Would you for real, actually, one hundred percent, date Remus Lupin if he asked you?" he asked astonished

Lily shrugged casually "Sure. All the girls think he's good looking. And since I'm actually friends with him I know he's sweet and intelligent too. Pretty much, he's the whole package."

"Oh- just- no-UGHHH! I'm gonna kill him!" James screamed, throwing his hands into the air, red faced and stomped off in a vengeful state.

Lily giggled at his rage-filled face, and skipped off down the corridor.

* * *

"YOU! YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!" James yelled as he entered the common room and grabbed a fistful of Remus' robes and pulled him out of his chair.

"Hey! I was finishing my potions essay!" Remus' protested as his papers fluttered to the floor.

James face had now turned so red he looked like the devil himself. In his moment of anger his drew his fist back and punched Remus hard in the stomach.

They both ended up letting out a cry of pain.

"It looked so soft!" James cried in agony "It's not soft!" he said referring to Remus' stomach as he cradled his hand.

"Are. You. Mental!?" Remus wheezed, falling over onto his knees and hugging his stomach.

Just then the portrait hole opened "Hey guys, I got some- What the fuck?" Sirius questioned as he stepped through the common room entrance.

Remus pointed to James. "He's. crazy!" he gasped

Sirius helped Remus up "What the hell is going on?"

"Lily said Remus would make the perfect boyfriend! You just have to be the best at everything don't you!?" James yelled

"Wha-? NO! I don't even like Lily that way!"

"Well she said she'd date you!"

"Did it ever occur to you, she was just saying that to get under your skin you barmy git!"

James froze in place his finger pointed at Remus accusingly "…oh. Heh heh, I never actually thought of that."

Remus slapped him over the head "Yeah."

"So… are we all friends again or..?" Sirius asked still not really sure what was going on.

"Sure."

"Why not."

"Hey how come no one else is ever in the common room with us during these fights?" Sirius asked curiously.

"Dunno, funny ol' world isn't it?" James remarked.

"Yeah, almost as if it was scripted." Remus said

James and Sirius snorted "Surrrre Moony, someone's writing our whole lives as we speak WoOoOoOoOoo!"

The three boys laughed at the outrageous idea and headed up to bed.

* * *

_2:00AM_

Remus was still wide awake. He couldn't stop thinking he was making a terrible mistake by not telling Beatrice how he felt. He had come to terms that he must like her, or he wouldn't feel that tickling sensation in the pit of his stomach when he was around her, it was like his guts were twisting into a knot and they became tighter and tighter every time he looked at her.

He sighed "I can't believe I'm doing this." He threw his covers off and got out of bed to do something so crazy, he wondered if he'd been spending to much time with the rest of the Marauders.

_TBC…_

**A/N And that's all you get for now! Don't worry my lovelies! I'll update as soon as I can. I hope you liked this chapter! I know it was all pretty random but I hope you found it enjoyable to read. The conclusion will be coming up within the next few chapters. Oh and I know Lily said she thought Remus would make a good boyfriend but that was just to make him seem awesome, Plus Lily just loves messin' with James haha, Cause Remus and Lily will not ever happen in this story. No… just no. JAMES&LILY FOREVER!**

**Anywhoooo, hope you liked it enough to review, so jot down what you thought and click the little review button please! ..I said PLEASE! The least you could do is review! Humph! :P …I'll give you a cookie. **

**-CaptainMeghanSparrow**

**PEACE OUT MOTHER TRUCKERS! (…yes I meant to write 'trucker', I'm not that rude ya know :P)**


	11. Night strolling and unexpected surprises

Love Story? …Oh Bullocks

**A/N DON'T SHOOOTT! Lol I'm so so so so so so sooooo sorry I've been away for so long, I know there was requests a little while ago about me continuing to write because this is a funny story, and I thank you for that my good people! Any who, I started this chapter quite awhile ago and just never got around to finishing it, but I decided I may as well try and get this fanfic finished because damn it all I wanna start a new story and I wanna actually finish writing a story for once in my life! Haha anyway I hope you don't find this chappy too disappointing, I tried to make it a good one as in this chapter some interesting things are gonna happen! And I regret to say, YES there is gonna be a little bit of … DRAMA! There I said it! Ughhh I hate writing dramatic saddening bits. FORGIVE ME! lol but don't worry, this is gonna be one of the last chapters meaning there's gonna be a "admitting to feelings" for Remus. Lol but it won't be happening in a fluffy, cutesy way, it'll be funny and stupid! R&R please, lemme know what yeah thought, and as I've said before DO NOT be a floppy wanded dementor boggerer (hehe potter puppet pals) when your reviewing! Lol meaning don't be rude please, I mean it's just so… rude.**

**Disclaimer: "Relinquish the rights to Harry Potter and no one gets hurt!"**

"**NEVER!"**

****Aurors apperate and surround me****

"**You'll have to pry the rights from my **_**cold, dead,**_**hands!"**

****Voldemort appears** "That's my forte actually!"**

"**Oh shut up Voldy! Can't you see we're in the middle of an intense battle of wits!? Geez…"**

"**B-but I just wanted to kill! Or even just seriously injure someone!"**

"**Well tough f-ing cookies!"**

****Aurors all cast stunning spells at me** "STUPIFY!"**

"**Noooo! Dumb Voldyy, ruining my plans… Ughh…" **I fall into unconsciousness, never to see the rights of Harry Potter again** **sniffle sniffle****

Chapter 11

Remus padded across the dormitory floor, changed out of his pajamas and into regular muggle clothes, jeans and a faded red jumper, then silently crept out the door. It shut with a quick *click!*

James jumped as he heard the small noise. He rubbed his eyes groggily "Wassgoinon?" He looked around blindly, fumbling for his glasses "Sirius I swear, if that's you again and you brought some bird back to the room-!"

"Huh?" said the tired voice of Sirius Black "What are you blabbing about? It's-" he checked the time "Two in the morning you tosser!"

"Well I heard a noise, I thought it must be you?"

Sirius shook his head, causing his hair to shake in even more disarray than before. "Nope, not me. Peter?"

All that was heard was a loud snoring noise coming from Peter's bed.

"That would be a no." James rolled his eyes. "Remus? …Remus?"

No answer came.

Sirius hauled himself up and walked across the room to Remus' bed and threw the curtains open.

He was gone.

"Where in the bloody hell did he go!?" Sirius yelled gesturing wildly to the empty bed.

"I don't know!" James cried

Sirius chewed on his lip thoughtfully "We didn't forget the full moon did we?"

"No! He would have told us you idiot! Besides I know for sure that it's Thursday."

Sirius held up his hands in defense "It was just a suggestion! So, where do you think he went?"

James rubbed the back of his neck, "I don't know, it's not like Remus to sneak out in the middle of the night."

"Must have been something _really _important.

A look of realization passed between them and James snapped his fingers "Beatrice." They said in unison. They then looked at each other and grinned "Remus, that dog." Sirius said.

"No that would be you Padfoot."

James was met with a pillow in the face.

* * *

"I can't believe I'm doing this, I can't believe I'm doing this, I can't-"

He froze in place as he heard a voice. "Did you see something Mrs. Norris?"

Remus' eyes widened as he recognized this as Filtch. "Nox!" he whispered frantically. The corridor fell into darkness as he flattened himself against the wall, tugging at the folds of the invisibility cloak in a panic.

"Who's there?" came Filtch's scratchy voice "Anybody down here?"

Remus held his breathe as Filtch passed, then almost passed out from lack of oxygen as Mrs. Norris stopped to stare up at him for a _very _long moment.

"Come on girl."

The cat seemed to narrow its red eyes at him before moving on. Remus let out a huge breathe of relief before sprinting as fast as he could away from the scene.

He finally reached the tapestry he had once left Beatrice at when walking her to her common room. He suspected that the Ravenclaw common room was just behind it.

Suddenly a cool feminine voice asked "What work can one never finish?"

"Huh?" Remus asked blankly.

"What work can one never finish?"

"Wha-? I don't know! Let me in would you!" he said growing angry.

"You must first answer the question or not be permitted entrance."

"Ugh, really? I just snuck all the way here _for this_!?"

Suddenly the wall behind the tapestry opened and a sleepy looking Beatrice appeared. "R-Remus?" she yawned "What on earth are you doing here?"

"Look I'm sorry to show up so late, but I had to talk to you." He said pleadingly.

She pursed her lips in thought "Well, alright. Get in here before someone sees you." She said pulling him in the room by his collar.

They entered the cozy, and rather blue, Ravenclaw common room. Beatrice sat herself on one of the blue sofa's and gestured for him to sit next to her. He sat himself down next to her, fidgeting nervously.

"What's this about Remus?" she asked although he suspected she already knew perfectly well why he needed to talk to her.

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly "I er- look, I'm really sorry I've been acting like such a git to you. I've just- I'm not like- I've never had-" he tried explaining.

Beatrice raised her eyebrows and stifled a giggle.

"I'm not doing a very good job explaining this am I?" he said

"No, but I'm having fun watching you try." She smiled "Why don't I start?" she suggested. "Look Remus, I like you, and I'm pretty sure you like me too. But if I'm correct, and I tend to be a lot, then there's something wrong that you don't want to tell me because you think it'll complicate a potential relationship."

Remus blinked "Are you a seer?"

She laughed "No, just observant, and a Ravenclaw. So, you ever going to tell me what's bothering you?"

Remus nervously ran a hand through his hair, a bad habit he'd picked up from James, "I'd like to, I really would, but you'd hate me. Trust me Beatrice, if I told you what was wrong you'd be so disgusted."

She pursed her lips "You don't know that."

"I don't _not _know it!" he countered.

She grimaced "If you never tell me, you'll never know."

"It's not that easy." His head fell into his hands.

A small, soft hand slowly pried his fingers away from his face. He finally looked up.

"Please, tell me Remus. Don't push me away." She pleaded "I'll even promise not to tell a soul anything you've said to me, _ever. _You know I would never do that. You know me."

Her eyes pleaded with him and he sighed as he made his final decision. "Alright."

Her face broke into a smile. "Thank you."

Remus took a deep breath. "Okay, now after I tell you this, you may never want to associate with me again, or even be in the same room with me, so prepare yourself for the worst."

She raised an eyebrow in question as he paced in front of the fire place, debating on whether he could save himself from this conversation by just pitching himself into the flames.

"Okay, so you know how I kind of look sick sometimes?"

"Yeah..?"

"And how I told you I'll be away this Thursday, and probably the whole weekend?"

"Yeah, to visit your mother right?"

"No, that's not where I go."

"It's not? Okay, well what do you do then?" she questioned in curiosity.

"See, it's the full moon this Thursday and on that day, I-I turn into a werewolf! There I said it! So now you know! Go, run and scream all you want! I know, I'm a disgusting, filthy, half-breed animal, who doesn't deserve to-"

Remus's rant was cut off by a soft giggle. He looked around to see Beatrice covering her mouth as she smiled.

"What on earth could be funny about this!?" he asked throwing his hands into the air.

"It's just- you should have seen your face!" she giggled even harder. "I've never seen you look so panicked before!"

Remus gaped at her "How in the- why aren't you running or screaming or bitch-slapping me in the face or-or _something!_"

"Because I've read about werewolves, and I don't see it as such a big deal." She explained then paused and giggled once more "Bitch-slapping? Since when do you say bitch-slapping? Is this to do with that vulgar table dance? Because-"

"NO! And please don't remind me of that!" he said with his hands still frozen in the air from shock. "B-But! Come on, how can you not think this is a big deal!? Aren't you incredibly disgusted!?"

She raised an eyebrow at his antics "Er- no." she said as if it were obvious.

"Well- well you should be!"

"Um…I'm sorry?" she said sheepishly.

"Ugh! You should hate me right now!"

"Yeah, that convinced me." she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"Beatrice, you don't understand. I'm dangerous, I could kill you!"

"But you won't." she replied calmly.

"You don't get it." He sighed "Why would you? _You're_ not a monster." He started toward the door of the common room. Beatrice's eyes widened as he spoke the words.

"No, no Remus your not-"

"Yes." He cut across her sharply "I am." And with that he hurried out of the Ravenclaw common room.

Beatrice slumped down onto the couch. "That couldn't have gone worse if a water buffalo ran into the room wearing a tutu." She grumbled

* * *

The next day in Transfiguration class it was… well in a word, uncomfortable.

Remus had refused to tell his friends what happened when he'd gotten back to their dormitory at around three in the morning. Finally they let him be and everyone had gotten back to sleep, except for Peter who had never actually woken up.

Remus sat moodily in his seat beside Sirius with his head on the desk when McGonagall announced they would be having a debate on the positive and negative effects of animagi transfiguration. One person was to represent each side.

"Let's see Mr. Lupin? You're going to be representing the negative and…let's have Miss Swiftly represent the affirmative, shall we?" McGonagall stated.

Remus looked up sharply as Beatrice's name was called. Their eyes met for a brief moment before Remus pulled his gaze away from her quickly.

They both stepped up to the podiums labeled with their respected position. "Now Miss Swiftly, make your opening statement please.

"Animagus transfiguration can be seen as positive as it allows the witch or wizard to transform their bodies into that of an animal, allowing them many new possibilities in their magical lives. Furthermore, allowing them a new freedom as an animal could help them develop their abilities further."

"And Mr. Lupin your opening statement?"

Remus really didn't seem up for a debate as he slumped sleepily over his podium and yawned "Animagus transformations can be seen negatively in the sense there can be disastrous consequences if not preformed properly. You also have to be willing to study excessively for years about it in order to even obtain this goal, even then it's difficult."

"Well done." McGonagall complimented him. "Miss Swiftly?" she urged Beatrice to rebuttal.

"While that's true, there are teachers to help with this task, if done correctly, being an animagus could be beneficial in the long run-"

"-But," Remus cut in "You have to register with the ministry. Clearly, nothing's a secret."

"If you have nothing to hide, than there's no need to worry." Beatrice protested.

"And if you were accused of something by the ministry because your animagus form was applicable to it?"

"When would that _ever _happen!?"

"I'm just considering all possibilities!"

"Well just because you take a certain form doesn't mean you're prone to doing certain things and would be blamed as such." She argued crossing her arm defiantly over her chest.

"And you would know?" Remus asked trying to mask his anger.

"Just because I haven't experienced something first hand, doesn't mean I can't try to understand!" she replied fumingly taking a loud stomping step closer to Remus, leaving her podium.

"Is that right?" he asked through clenched teeth as he grew angrier through ever step he took.

"_Yes. It. Is." _She emphasized her words as she spat them out.

In the heat of anger it took Beatrice only one look at his lips to throw her arms around his neck and steal that first kiss. After he'd gotten over the shock of it all, Remus had no problem succumbing to this mutual feeling, as his arms wrapped firmly around her waist as she leapt on him, nearly lifting her off her feet.

Almost everyone in the room jaws dropped to the floor. Especially the rest of the Marauders.

McGonagall herself was blushing and stuttering "Mi-miss Swiftly, Mr. L-Lupin I command you to cease and desist _at once_!"

They separated, blushing madly, and mumbling apologies.

McGonagall face-palmed "Just- just get out of my classroom, I'll deal with you later." She said pointing to the door "I don't ever think we've had a rule about 'no-snogging-during-my-lesson' in this school until now."

They didn't need telling twice as they exchanged a look and smile, before each grabbed their books and raced out of the classroom, Beatrice in the lead, and Remus hot on her heels.

As soon as the door slammed the room burst into applause. The Marauders cheering the loudest. Even McGonagall had a hint of a smile on her lips. "Yes, yes I agree that was long overdue, but do SHUT UP!"

* * *

**A/N Well? What do you think? THEY FINALLY KISSED FOR GOD SAKES! ...you better be darn happy about that :P please REVIEWWW! People do not review enough, they just think following the story and favouriting it makes me happy...no, no it doesn't. I hope you enjoyed and i think I'll probably have one last chapter, maybe two but I'm not sure yet. I guess you'll have to wait and see! I'll try to post sooner but i have projects due before Christmas break so I'll probably end up working on it toward the end of the month. **

**Hey, anyone else going to see The Hobbit on the 14th? OMG soo excited! :D  
**

**anyway PEACE OUT BIATCHS!  
**

**-CaptainMeghanSparrow  
**


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